If there’s one story I love writing up, it’s a story about full-figured ladies duking it out in the streets, pullin’ hair and throwin’ ham hocks. And if perchance a titty should escape its lacy prison… (*kisses fingertips*) divine. This time, it all started with a 13-year-old’s Facebook post showing another girl in a side-by-side picture with Gabourey Sidibe in Precious. 13-year-olds today, don’t they know it’s Friday, Friday? They should be out partyin’, partyin’, YEAH!
A 13-year-old girl’s Facebook posting of another girl’s photo side by side with a large young actress’ photo erupted into a street fight on Madison’s southeast side Monday night, with upwards of 15 people, mostly teen girls and women, duking it out, police said.
According to the Madison Police Department, the fight was reported at 10:55 p.m. on Great Gray Drive, near McFarland, and apparently started when the girl who made the posting challenged the other 13-year-old girl to a fight, also through Facebook.
“Police found 10-15 people engaged in a physical confrontation,” said police spokesman Joel DeSpain. “Most were women, both teens and adults.”
Police said the fight participants scattered when squad cars rolled up, and various items were left in the street, including socks, rubber bands, hair ties, hair extensions, and a claw hammer.
Not to mention a turkey leg, three whopper wrappers, a box of taco shells, a shattered gravy boat, and two pairs of nunchuks. Throw a burnt doll in there and take a picture, BOOM! There’s your Pulitzer.
“The mother of one of the 13-year-old girls said it all started when the other girl began posting pictures of her daughter side by side with those of a heavy-set actress from the movie ‘Precious,’ ” DeSpain said.
“Derogatory comments also apparently were made about the 13-year-old girl,” DeSpain said. [Madison.com]
At least, the girl in question assumed the comments were derogatory. It turns out she has full-blown AIDS, a retarded baby, and can’t read. Police are still investigating.
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various items were left in the street, including socks, rubber bands, hair ties, hair extensions, and a claw hammer
The hammer is suspicious. Anybody know where Joe King was during all of this?
MacGyver thinks they were trying to make a gurney.
The hammer makes me wonder if this wasn’t like the news team fight from Anchorman. And now I really want to see it.
Heavy.
The hammer is just a red herring.
That gang fight sounds like they were trying to recreate a Michael Jackson music video and instead ended up with the Weird Al Yankovich parody.
I don’t know if this helps or hurts that girl’s chances of being cast in the remake of ‘Disorderlies’.
Hey, while the police are investigating stuff, maybe they could solve the mystery of where the fabulous career Oprah promised her went.
Never bring a knife to a food fight.
I wonder how big the sock was. And how it left the foot that was in it. Toe-cheese is an afterthought.
I went to the fights and a yard sale broke out.
Somebody HAS to have this on video…AND,funny enough,I’ve been to a yard sale in MadCity and a fight did break out…believe it or not,over a fucking Snoopy SnoCone maker…sad but hilarious,and you can’t make shit like this up…everybody else is flipping gnarly paperwads,then here comes a bitch with a claw hammer..
I couldn’t tell the two pictures apart either.
I’m all for fights with hammers
Rubber bands and a claw hammer? Were they trying to fix a fucksaw?
Wait, are there black people in Wisconsin?
Police said the fight participants scattered when squad cars rolled up…
Using “rolled up” against the more common “arrived” makes things WAAAAAAYYYY more hood,yes?
I presumed that was what they were fighting over, keyHo. Had they used the steelers chick instead, there’d be no problem.
They should have used ‘stampede’ to describe the cop fleeing. Its a vivid visual
Wait, claw hammer or lobster mallet?
Was it a giant claw hammer? Because that might belong to Gallagher.
Many breaths were lost that day…
The two youths reconciled when the offending party posted side-by-side photos of the 13-year-old girl and Wicket.
Wanking with a sock, some rubber bands, and a claw hammer is known as the Working Man’s Carradine.
The hair extensions are optional.
I hear that Captain Spaulding came in his pants before this fight elevated from a shoving match.
What? That must have been some fucking sweet pushin’
“Duking it out” really adds more color to the brawl.
Psyche!I joke,I joke
I blame Popeye’s for providing the free wi-fi.
Was it a giant claw hammer? Because that might belong to Gallagher.
You might be onto something, Burnsy. The makeup of the crowd might explain the odd absence of watermelon rinds.
I find it hard to imagine the police having a hard time tracking these fine women down. :)
Scissors found on the scene suggest some of them had been dyking it out.
According to the Madison Police Department, the fight was reported at 10:55 p.m. on Great Gray Drive MLK Drive, near McFarland Martin Luther King Blvd.
Fixed.
Without the strikethroughs, my previous comment makes no sense. Back to html school for me.
anGas: <strike>
try thislt;/strike>fuckit
Based on the novel “Push” by Sapphire.