I try to keep my site a moral outrage and righteous indignation-free zone, but I can’t keep from pointing out that the Academy are being huge dicks about this Corey Haim thing. People were upset when Haim was left off the SAG Awards In Memoriam segment, which gave the Academy a whole month to add two stills of Haim from Lucas and Lost Boys that they could throw onscreen for two seconds while Celine Dion sang her obnoxious song and keep everyone happy. But instead they left him out, while honoring Ronni Chasen (a publicist) and airing Halle Berry’s 10-minute tribute to Lena Horne (OOOOH LOOK HOW INCLUSIVE AND DIVERSE YOU ARE, ACADEMY! YOUR LACK OF BLACK NOMINEES THIS YEAR IS TOTALLY FORGIVEN!). Which leads us to another exciting installment of: Corey Feldman, Unlikely Voice of Reason.
Feldman tells us, “Corey [Haim]‘s films have earned the industry over a half a billion dollars and his work remains an inspiration to young artists world wide… Corey dedicated his life to the film industry. The same industry that failed to dedicate even 30 seconds to his memory.”
The Feldster might have gotten a little carried away with the inspiration to young artists bit, but other than that, he’s completely right. How say you, Academy (specifically, producers Don Mischer and Bruce Cohen)? Heartfelt apology? Fake apology, even?
For their part, the Academy released a statement that reads: “Whatever the length of the sequence, there will always be fans and family members of those not included who will be disappointed by their omission. The Academy extends its understanding and its apologies to those who missed seeing a favorite face in this year’s feature.” [TMZ]
Ouch, form letter. Well f*ck you very much too, you shriveled, stutter-loving c*cksuckers. I guess The Academy is your cable provider now. There’s nothing like pointing out a wrong and then having the offending party respond with a vague non-apology addressed to a nebulous third party. It’s even worse than a disingenuous apology because you can sense them typing it with one hand while they wank dismissively with the other. “Oh, sorry if we kept you from banging your ugly wives, trolls, but do the math: we can’t include every loser in our gnarly segment, duh. WINNING.”
I hereby sentence the Academy to watch every episode of The Coreys.
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“Billy, do you think I’ll be left off of the In Memoriam segment at the Oscars?”
-Peter Graves
The Feldster could of at least included Peter Graves in his complaint letter.
I love Haim as much as the next guy, but if you look at his IMDB page you’ll see that he made Lucas, Lost Boys, License to Drive, and Dream a Little Dream, and then in 1990 the quality of his films takes a nosedive into shlock and direct to video garbage. He basically made four decent movies (all prior to 1990) and then a ton of junk.
If Haim had just eaten the god damn maggots again this wouldn’t even be a problem.
Don’t forget they also honored an agent.
My biggest disappointment of the night was hearing “Celine Dion In Memoriam” but then finding out she was singing.
“He basically made four decent movies (all prior to 1990) and then a ton of junk.”
The same resume for which Coppola got a lifetime achievement award.
Ironically, if someone made a movie about the life of Corey Haim and cast a British dude in it, it would probably win an Oscar.
The biggest In Memoriam snubs were Kirk Douglas and Charlie Sheen. DYING.
The Academy sent an abbreviated statement to the ghost of Corey Haim: “Nawt you.”
I have no opinion on Corey Haim (other than ‘he dead’), but fucking Peter Graves, star of pretty much everything from Mission Impossible to Airplane!, is left out in favour of some cunt publicist who nobody gave a flying fuck about until she managed to get herself shot for no very good reason?
Charlie’s right, bridge-dwelling trolls and losers, the lot of them.
The problem is that his real name was Corey Chaim.
Between the unbearable score/song performances, the tribute montages (only do that if they just died), and the endless screenplay/editing montages, the show is full of so much fat that it’s unwatchable. No host can compete against that.
Now one of the most beloved segments (one that we’d gladly watch, even if it ran ten minutes) is full of agents and publicists (ie: jobs never nominated)! Oh, and Celine Dion gets a third of the coverage in that segment? And everyone honored only got one shot in the montage. Boo.
I’d much rather watch the Governor’s Ball or the Technical Oscars.
Let’s keep in mind that if the academy had added Corey Haim into their montage, then they wouldn’t have had time to cut back to Celene’s horseface when she started the second verse.
*grabs a torch and a pitchfork*
I can’t even imagine why they’d really omit him unless it was just personal disdain. There’s really no other reason. I didn’t even like the guy and I would have included him.
nebulous third party – awesome band name.
Almost as good as “The Stutter Lovers”.
At least the Academy afforded Mr. Feldman an opportunity to demonstrate that he is indeed alive. There’s always that.
I call troll on this whole “Corey Haim is dead” nonsense. If he’s so dead, how does he keep appearing in movies under the pseudonym “Hillary Swank?”
Nebbish third parties only respond to nebulous third parties.