On March 15th, Severin Films is releasing on DVD and Blu-Ray the 1983 cult classic BMX Bandits, which was basically the Surf Ninjas of its time. It was a film about stolen walk-talkies, radical bike tricks, and 80s synth-pop singalongs. But best of all, it starred a 16-year-old future Oscar winner in Nicole Kidman. (For an added bit of trivia, it was directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith, director of Turkey Shoot, one of the most awesomely-terrible exploitation films you will ever see).
Here we see a 16-year-old Kidman, rocking a poodle perm and painted one-piece, looking like the flyest Fly Girl at Jazzercise (don’t laugh, that’s how you were conceived), discussing her role in the film. She then introduces a clip which seems to pre-date the “BMX Joust” segment on Jackass by almost 20 years. And if that weren’t radical enough, after that there’s a sing-along segment. To be honest, I’m not sure whether it’s part of the film clip or just part of the show she’s on. All I know is that the “singing kids wearing helmets” reaction shots are SIMPLY. AMAZING. My God, they’re so wholesome, and so retarded-looking. They’re like the special-ed tabernacle choir.
I wonder where they are now. Probably dead. Dingos got em.
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Girl in the yellow helmet is Dannii Minogue. She’s famous ’round here for having a more-famous sister, so she cracked the shits and moved to London.
Oh, and she also did a Playboy shoot BEFORE getting a boob job. We do things upside-down.
I haven’t been that turned on by 16-year-olds since I went to see the “non-special-ed” version of the Tabernacle Choir.
Now that I think about it, they’re probably easier to catch on the shorter bus.
modic, I don’t know what “cracked the shits” means, but I’m using it in my next job evaluation.
The background in that picture looks like it was shot on the set of You Can’t Do That On Television. Except here, when you say “I don’t know”, a gallon of vegemite get’s dumped on your head.
Not one of those kids would be older than 15, cranky.
You may go about your business.
apbask, it means to “throw a wobbly” or “chuck a spaz”. Helpful, am I not?
The Mighty Feklahr has been throwin’ old wobbly around lately.
:( Jellybean Tempo Monk
Ah, got it.
Is it a coincidence that I had a pair of blue ‘ROOS in 1983?
Good God, I’ve seen this movie maybe 50 times from back in my babysitting days. They had it on video so that only makes me like, 26 or something now and awesome at math.
The Mighty Feklahr would rather see: “Nicole Kidman Learns What A Rear Naked Choke Is” from Severn Films.
This is the squeeky clean girl who won over the heart of androgynous scientology leprchauns everywhere.
16?
She looks at least 35 in that photo.
Or maybe it’s just because I tend to associate big 1980s hair with friends of my mom when I was little.
That’s ‘Young Talent Time’, one of the defining shows from my childhood.
If my memory serves those pictures are of Danni Minogue, Vince Deltito and the mighty Bevan Addinsal.
You’re an Aussie, Cash? Well, strike me pink.
HEY BMX’ers!
How does the the special-ed tabernacle choir hit the high notes?
By removing their seats of course!
/pedals away
Even at 16, she’s doing what she can to hide any sign of life in her forehead
I’m going to need a Danger Guerrero breakdown of ‘BMX Bandits’ most rikki-tick.
Loved her in Mask
If DG is breaking down anything, it better be the school dance scene of “Rad.” Furthermore, the re-release of BMX Bandits means the re-release of Rad isn’t far behind. Huzzah!