Big Mommas (NO APOSTROPHE, IT’S PLURAL THIS TIME!): Like Father Like Son is currently drawing an impressive 0% rating on RottenTomatoes. As a sidenote, the other day TheFilmStage discovered that Martin Lawrence hadn’t had a “Fresh” movie on RottenTomatoes in 21 years. The last one to get above 50% was House Party in 1990. Two surprising things about that: (1) Martin Lawrence was in House Party. (2) House Party was 95% recommended on RottenTomatoes. Seriously. House Party.
I digress, but my assumption was that because it was so universally reviled, Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son would make a great candidate for our plot-recreated-using-expository-review-quotes game. Two problems arose: First, the movie didn’t screen for critics in most places (oh God please let Armond White review it eventually), and second, it soon became clear that nothing at all interesting happened in this movie. Nonetheless, thanks to a herculean, borderline miraculous effort on my part, I was able to pull two amazing quotes.
“Faizon Love is the roly poly maintenance man with an eye for Big Momma’s big thighs.” -Orlando Sentinel
Faizon Love apparently chose to go uncredited in the part of “Kurtis Kool*,” but anyone who so much as saw the poster knew Faizon Love had to be in there. Anything else would be grounds for a refund. And finally, probably my favorite quote of any review ever, which comes to us by way of The Hollywood Reporter.
“The moral here is if you slap a dress on a guy, they will come.”
Wow. This suddenly sounds pretty ground breaking for a mainstream film.
*I don’t want to get racial here, but isn’t naming a black guy “Kurtis Kool” basically like naming an Italian guy Guiseppe Pizzapie?
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“The moral here is if you slap a dress on a guy, they will come.”
That’s been the tagline for the National Thailand Ladyboy Championships for years.
*shakes fist at Donk*
*shakes fist on crotch during the National Thailand Ladyboy Championships*
Kurtis Kool was originally Knowshon Newport.
Not even Bad Boys? That’s a pretty solid movie, I can still watch it today.
I don’t want to get racial here, but isn’t naming a black guy “Kurtis Kool” basically like naming an Italian guy Guiseppe Pizzapie?
or a fat asian guy E. Honda.
This movie’s so whack it makes House Party 3 look like House Party 2!
There better be a scene in which the Big Mommas eat fried chicken together, or else I’d say Hollywood isn’t being exploitative enough. In fact, they wouldn’t even be trying.
You should be glad they named him Kurtis Kool. The scene was originally cast to be a lesbian woman named Juwanna Watermelon.
This movie is only at 0% because everyone seeing it has their tickets on layaway.
It’s a shame Martin wasn’t in Class Act. That has to be at 100% on RT.
What are you talking about? Dark Knight has a 94% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
What’s that? Oh, BLACK Knight… nevermind.
I don’t want to get racial here, but isn’t naming a black guy “Kurtis Kool” basically like naming an Italian guy Guiseppe Pizzapie?
I’m saving this for posterity pending a possible legal fight after the release of Spike Lee’s next movie.
The real racism here is that a black man puts on a dress and hilarious antics happen, but when a white man puts on a dress, all that happens is he tries to kill Jodie Foster.
All I’m saying is maybe we should start giving more sympathetic roles to black men.
I read the novel from which the movie’s based on, and lemme tell ya… people are gonna be PISSED about that changed ending.
This movie makes Daddy Day Camp look like King Lear. The director must have lost a bet or something.