"Four crumpets and seven lorries ago, a bobby knickered his top hat in the loo..."
The British Oscars, aka The BAFTAs happened last night (“BAFTA? Oi, but guv, Oy hahdly know ‘er!”), and whilst I didn’t catch the telecast, I can only hope it was half as thrilling as Lady Gaga’s latest wacky stunt at The Grammys. (*emerges from giant queef balloon, wanks dismissively*) But the big story of the night was that Tom Hooper’s The King’s Speech took home seven awards including oh my God I’m bored already.
The awards season train for “The King’s Speech” keeps on going this weekend with the film picking up 7 BAFTA Awards on Sunday including Best Film, Best Original Screenplay and trio of trophies for the film’s lead actors, Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and Helena Bonham Carter. However, it wasn’t an entire clean sweep of the major categories as “The Social Network” fans will be pleased to know that David Fincher took home the Best Director; the film also won Adapted Screenplay and Editing honors. [Indiewire]
I tried to watch The King’s Speech the other night but I fell asleep. Wait, don’t tell me what happened, let me guess: it turns out the quirky mentor’s unorthodox methods are actually very effective, the protagonist finally earns the respect of his belittling father on his deathbed, and at the end, the hero gives a triumphant speech while his mentor, having evolved from dislike to begrudging respect to friendship, smiles proudly. …Was I close? Ooh, ooh, and was there also a training montage in the middle, and some words on the screen at the end explaining everyone’s important place in history? I bet there totally was. Best original screenplay indeed.
[Geoffrey Rush is still a gangster though]
Best Film
The King’s SpeechOutstanding British Film
The King’s SpeechDirector
David Fincher – The Social NetworkOutstanding Debut By A British Writer, Director Or Producer
Chris Morris – Four LionsLeading Actor
Colin Firth - The King’s SpeechLeading Actress
Natalie Portman – Black SwanSupporting Actor
Geoffrey Rush – The King’s SpeechSupporting Actress
Helena Bonham Carter – The King’s SpeechOriginal Screenplay
The King’s Speech – David SeidlerAdapted Screenplay
The Social Network – Aaron SorkinFilm Not In The English Language
The Girl With The Dragon TattooAnimated Film
Toy Story 3Original Music
The King’s Speech – Alexandre DesplatCinematography
True Grit – Roger DeakinsEditing
The Social Network – Angus Wall, Kirk BaxterProduction Design
Inception – Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Doug MowaCostume Design
Alice in Wonderland – Colleen AtwoodSound
Inception – Richard King, Lora Hirschberg, Gary A Rizzo, Ed NovickSpecial Visual Effects
Inception – Corbould, Franklin, Lockley, BebbMake Up & Hair
Alice in Wonderland – Valli O’Reilly, Paul GoochShort Animation
The Eagleman Stag – Michael PleasShort Film
Until the River Runs Red – Paul Wright, Poss KondeatisOrange Wednesdays Rising Award
Tom Hardy
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I enjoyed King’s Peach but I was the only one in the theater yelling “Go Seabiscuit!”
/I like my underdogs four-legged and American, thank you.
I assume the Orange Wednesday Rising Award has something to do with appealing sexually to heterosexual men?
Sincerely: I just watched Winter’s Bone again, and unlike (admittedly good) movies like King and Fighter, you didn’t know exactly where it was going from the first scene. Also, fucking Teardrop, bitches.
Orange Wednesday is when John Boehner hits the tanning booth.
Hey Tom Hardy, orange you glad you won an award?
Whats a ballon?
Aw, I liked it.
Although I do still think that Winter’s Bone deserves the Oscar. But it won’t get it. And I hate Aaron Sorkin. So go King’s Speech…?
Ha ha ha
Best Sound: Dick King
Um, OBVIOUSLY he doesn’t gain his father’s respect because his father dies. Otherwise it would be called The Duke’s Speech.
/another vote for Winter’s Bone
“Originality is for poofs.” -Whoever wrote “The King’s Speech” I’m too lazy to google that ish.
Oh wait. You did the work for me.
Nope. Still too lazy.
Come on, even I was awake long enough for the father to praise him on his death bed.
2 training montages….
this headline made me laugh really loud in a room full of quiet people. thanks, jerk.
Christopher Lee looked alarmingly frail, but still younger than Annette Benning.
I don’t care how much they push BAFTA, I’ll never trust the British to stick to any trade agreement.
*pours can of Lipton Brisk into toilet*
Hundreds of mexicans were turned away, mistakenly believing it was the NAFTA awards.
At least there were corgies?
Attendees claimed the show was dry and humorless; very little LAFTA at BAFTA.
Orange Wednesdays Rising Award: Tom Hardy
Meanwhile, Cory Feldman won the Orange Julius Employee of the Month Award.
Not that it matters much, but one of the reasons I liked this movie and didn’t think it was self-congratulatory Oscarbation was because at the end of the film the King is NOT speaking perfectly like someone that has been battling a stammer for his entire life. He still struggles with it, but learns ways to cope with it. The movie gained the respect of a cynic for that alone.
Wait, this is Filmdrunk….uhhh TITTIES!
I don’t think it was a terrible movie (it’s about friendship, and as you may have noticed from my love of Toy Story 3 and Cedar Rapids, movies about friendship tend to make me go a big wet one), but Jesus Christ, it’s seriously like they took “OSCAR MOVIE TEMPLATE 1″ and filled in the rest. They easily could’ve made it less predictable and cliché than it was and it still would’ve been good. It had a great cast and that’s about it. No fucking way it deserves any screenplay or best picture honors.
I know it’s meant for food storage, but I bet he used “Firth In, Firth Out” as an effective pick up line with eyebrow wiggle accompaniment.
I registered specifically to say that this post almost made me choke on my coffee.
*turns head to the general vicinity of Larry*
Who’s fucking teardrop, bitches?
How can I get in on this?
And on that note, why in god’s name is True Grit nominated for cinematography and Winter’s Bone is not? As much as I enjoy the Coen’s, the cinematography was unremarkable. It wasn’t bad, it was good, but it wasn’t anything special and frankly, was a little bit cheesy some of the time…and The Social Network? Really? Winter’s Bone deserves at least a nomination for cinematography. I haven’t seen Black Swan or the Kings Speech, so I can’t say it deserves the oscar, but it’s definitely better than Inception and True Grit and the The Anti-Social Network.