So back in June, I posted video of Seagal “training” UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva. From the looks of the video, he taught Silva mostly techniques that are illegal in MMA, like karate chops to the neck and eye gouges (not to mention that he didn’t seem to be able to wrap his mind around the fact that Silva is a southpaw). Fast-forward to Saturday night, when Silva won his title fight by rare, front-kick knockout. The teep kick is a Muay Thai move, usually used defensively, but it’s been used as a weapon before, and it was probably only a matter of time before someone scored a knockout with it is an awesome move, and what makes it even more amazing is that Steven Seagal totally invented it!
ever seen someone in a combat sports match knock someone out with that kick?
STEVEN SEAGAL: [taken aback] …Well nobody knows the kick. I’m teaching it to [former light heavyweight champ and Silva training partner Lyoto] Machida and Machida-koon [?] and Anderson and a few of the Brazilians, but, we haven’t really used it much yet. I haven’t shown it to many people yet.
ARIEL HELWANI: How did you get in touch with Anderson?
STEVEN SEAGAL: Anderson actually sent me a memo, saying ‘will you please teach me your deadly stuff?’ [video via CagePotato]
Anderson Silva won his fight because Steven Seagal showed him a deadly move that NO ONE ELSE KNOWS: the mysterious “front kick.” Do not doubt for a second that Steven Seagal believes this to be true one hundred percent.
KARYN BRYANT: How long have you been training together?
STEVEN SEAGAL: Oh gosh, I don’t know long ago that was, I don’t really keep track of space and time too well.
GAME. OVER. Steven Seagal is my favorite public figure behind Gary Busey.
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Steven Seagal is my favorite public figure behind Gary Busey.
And now I will be able to masturbate this week. Thanks Vince.
Inventing things that already exist is Steven Segal’s unique physiological reaction to not being the center of attention.
Fat Bono needs no watch.
Steven Seagal only arousal is head contusions. Surprised he didn’t fuck Belfort’s head, Crash style, after the match.
Actually Vince, a front kick like the one Silva used snaps the knee upwards, while a Teep kick is more a pushing motion. ROFLMAO TUF NOOB FAGGET!
/Sherdog’d
Anderson Silva is either a ninja or a jedi. There’s no other explanation for how he could knock out Forrest Griffin with his left pinkie, or Vitor Belfort with his big toe.
That’s splitting hairs. It’s just a teep with some stank on it. It’d be like if he knocked him out with a jab, people would be like, “that wasn’t a jab! It was harder than a jab!”
*kicks door open*
That version of “Sweet Child o’ Mine” made me want to
*sunglasses*
Slash my wrists
YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Oh, wrong room.
Er, sorry. My joke was trying to make fun of Sherdog forumns and their members. Was my impression too good?
then Seagal taught Silva the hand slap game.
Is Steven Seagal the first boner fide MMA hipster? The Mighty Feklahr can only imagine what a training session with him would be like…*cue transitional imagination sequence music with an ancient oriental theme*
Front kick! HAI! Haymaker! HAI! Nut punch! HAI!
Excellent job, class. Now remember, a warrior’s body must be balanced with mind and soul to walk the path.
*chugs ginseng and raw egg cocktail, oolong tea chaser*
Consider this poem!
“Oh wha ah ah ah
Looking at my own reflection
Violently it changes”
Indeed. Now, let us focus on tantric Jamaican steel drum rhythms! No, grasshopper! Do it at a medium pace…
No word yet as to whether or not Lindy will take credit for his new queefmission facial crotchlock
its-McG: No, we just have to pretend Vince is THE authority on MMA around here, or he gets all Alpha Male and pouts.
I just told Steven Seagal he didn’t invent the front kick and now I’m paralyzed from the neck down. I hope you fuckers are happy.
I’m pretty sure the front kick gets invented by undersized third graders every few minutes. But I’ll defer being new to this particular reality series.
@ Fek
Ya, I should have known not to pick a fight with a Columbia University blue belt.
Although Seagal IS crazy as hell, in the post-fight interview, Anderson Silva did actually credit him with teaching him the kick… bizarre.
I can’t wait for UFC128, I hear Kevin James is going to corner Roy Nelson.
Ah, my bad. Yes, my dark secret is that I’ve seen too many mma comment sections to recognize parody.
All funds from UFC128 will be donated to save the Steven Segal Memorial rec center.
inky-Yeah, and Rihanna will corner Andre Orlovsky.
Oooh! Oooh! Heath Ledger can corner
The AndorianEvan Tanner!!!My new alternative rap rock band is called MMA hipster.
Jens Pulver was cornered by Leeroy Jenkins his last 6 fights.
And yes, I am certain NO ONE will get this, at all.
While Seagal admits he did not invent eating, he does claim to have perfected it.
Isn’t that Wyclef?
I think he’s confusing “front kick” with “sausage bomb”.
Oh gosh, I don’t know long ago that was, I don’t really keep track of space and time too well.
He’s in “method” mode while auditioning for the role of the twelfth Doctor. His RETARDIS must be on the fritz.
*hopes Eibz is around here somewhere*
Yes, it’s fucking Wyclef. I named the picture and Tweeted it before I realized my mistake and now I can’t change it. (*pout*)
That kick has been used since 1984 when Daniel Russo took out Johnny Lawrence to win the All Valley Karate Tournament.
Isn’t that Wyclef?
IT DOESN’T MATTER!
I think he’s confusing “front kick” with “reverse cowgirl”, and “Silva” with “Cooper”.
The Mighty Feklahr sees your Leeeeeroy Jenkins, and raises you a Shawn Stasiak.
Steven Seagal taught Wyclef Jean how to really want the poonani.
Wyclef is confused because he thought that was Santana.
Dear god, it appears that Seagal is telling the truth [www.mmatorch.com]
Seagal always tells the truth, grasshopper. If the dream we mere mortals presume, with laughable arrogance, to call reality, occasionally fails to correspond to that truth, that’s none of his concern.
Wyclef? I thought it was the guy who played Screwface.
Just goes to show how up to date I am with pop culture circa 1996.
Don’t know why you crossed out it being a muay Thai move. That’s all it is, a Teep. Silva has been doing muay Thai since he was a kid. It’s a pretty standard kick. Here’s a video of a Thai fight where a guy does the exact same thing. You can either teep the body or face….
[www.youtube.com]