Above all else, entertainment is an intuitive business. You take one British comedian, famous for discussing his battles with drug and sex addiction, and do with him the most logical thing: hire him to voice the Easter Bunny in a children’s movie. Of course, this Easter Bunny will have to be super cool and hip, to appeal to today’s youth with their iPads and Rockbands and sausage-sucking sexbots, so now the Easter Bunny plays drums and wears multiple layers of shirts and moves to Hollywood for some reason. After that, it hooks up with David Hasselhoff, a guy famous for being on a bad show with a lady who made a sex tape with a rock star with a really big penis, and later for being a terrible drunk who eats floorburgers. From there, the floorburger guy helps the cool bunny with the multiple shirts become famous for pooping jelly beans, which will be then branded and sold to children. The end. Cut and print.
Really, I can’t imagine this turning out any other way.
Blending state of the art animation with live action, Hop is a comedy about E.B. (voiced by Russell Brand), the teenage son of the Easter Bunny. On the eve of taking over the family business, E.B. leaves for Hollywood in pursuit of his dream of becoming a drummer. He encounters Fred (James Marsden), an out-of-work slacker with his own lofty goals, who accidentally hits E.B. with his car. Feigning injury, E.B. manipulates Fred into providing him shelter, and Fred finds himself with the world’s worst houseguest. [via Apple]
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World’s worst houseguest? Gary Busey accepts your challenge by shitting on your carpet to mark his territory, pulling a knife on your cat and threatening to slit its throat if you don’t get him a applejuice box, and demanding you SKIP THE GODDAMN COMMERCIALS!
[Eats handfull of paint chips. Shits in kitchen sink]
Nice to see James
fucking his career too death before it was ever born because his agent is a stupid money hoarding jew with no sensedoing something.I blame Poochie.
If Schoolhouse Rocks ever did a segment on SuperAIDS, I imagine it would look a lot like this. Especially the part where Hasselhoff and the boobs from Big Bang Theory are in it.
Worst house guest ever? Genghis Kahn. That dude would stab your mom in the gut just so he could fit three of his friends in her while he was banging her.
The Mighty Feklahr thought “Fred” (Durst?) was supposed to be “an out-of-work slacker with his own lofty goals”?
How is it that he doesn’t take one look at the Easter Bunny and say, “I can have a perpetual jelly bean factory that can never escape AND four lucky charms!”
GET ME A WHOPPER!
I bought 10 pounds of candy for Halloween. 2 kids showed up. I was pooping candy for several days, and nobody asked me to be the Easter Bunny.
How does this film address the other Easter staple, the commemoration of the torture and execution of an uppity Jew? My interest level depends on the answer.
Isn’t a guy saying that he is a sex addict just a guy saying that he is a guy?
You can’t blame him for needing the money. Katy Perry’s requirement contract for swarovski tit-glitter really breaks the bank. Man can she burn through some tit-glitter.
Crappy-the difference between a guy and a sex addict is the sex addict can actually get laid more often. If you are fucking all the time, you are a sex addict. If you are stroking it all the time, you are a
Vince“guy”.Oi, Botasky & Packy need ta takes a truncheon ta dis lil wankuh!
Ah, dat splains it.
[Returns to tugging the tool to 1989 Sears catalogue bra section]
Eeew, guys are gross.
Could be worse, Patty. Crap could’ve been honest and said “maternity website” instead of the Sears cross-your-hearts.
Ain’t no sexbot party like a sausage sucking sexbot party.
I blame Greg the Bunny.
Hmmm, pregers chicks. Gotta love a broad you can go raw dog on and only have to worry about herpes.
I’m printing that on a t-shirt.
Not that you care, Crap, but if you fuck a lady and she’s in the second trimester or later, the baby is born with a harelip.
And wearing it to church.
And here I thought the faux-maternity dress was a turn off.
Really? I thought they went autistic from getting jabbed in the fontanelles.
KNOWLEDGE!
I got a very dirty look from the doctor delivering my second child when I referred to the fontanelle as the reset button.
Dreaming of being a drummer is only slightly more ambitious than dreaming of being a placeholder in the NFL.
I couldn’t finish watching past the “I’ve been the Easter Bunny for the past 4000 years” part. Really? We’ve been celebrating Easter since 2000 years before the start of Christianity?