"BRAAAAAAAAAINS..."
Yep, that’s the guy who bangs Katy Perry.
Russell Brand is currently hard at work shooting a remake of Arthur, but no one cares about that, so here’s a horrendous picture of him as a teenager. Good lord, I believe that is considered a homely man, even in England. He looks like he stuffed a catcher’s mitt in his mouth, and now he has to concentrate super hard so he can pass it.
I feel like people throw around Rocky Dennis references too often, and it takes away from the times when the comparison is truly apt, like now.
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Did not know being Mexican was a phase you could grow out of.
He starred in the school play Get Him to the IHOP.
Man, I bet Russell and Katy are the most annoying couple on earth.
I’d rather stick my hand in a garbage disposal than have dinner at their house.
An Arthur remake? [sigh] I need to go commit some arson.
Lord, he was a chubster! His stage name must have come from all the neighborhood kids trying to mark him like cattle.
You know how they say fat kids learn to be funny as a social acceptance mechanism? That’s why Brand had to lose all that weight.
And here I thought Adam Carolla couldn’t look more Down Syndrome-y.
People always criticize Russel Brand for playing the same character in every film, but I thought his performance in A League of Their Own was sublime.
Brand is just his stage name, his real last name is Blart.
Every child is beautiful in his or her own way.
Except for Russell Brand.
Makes me want to cut his arms and legs off and throw him in a pile of leafs.
See, Megan Fox? You should’ve accepted that rose…
Yikes. He looks like the untalented one from New Kids On The Block. This is why cameras should be avoided at all costs during adolescence.
In high school he wasn’t nearly as popular as his brother Raymond.
I can’t decide if that face is more “holding in a fart” or “pushing out a fart”
There’s really nothing sadder than chin cellulite.
Adolescents look like that over ‘ome? That could have saved me some trouble.
I think he’s an inspiration. Imagine the newspaper headlines: “Local Fatty Fails Up,” “Unfunny? Fat? Do Heroin!” or my personal favorite “This is the Story of E. Beau Lotty. Got More Head Than He’s Got Body… Now.”
Sweet Christ at that unibrow. You could clean the gym floor with that kid’s fucking face.
And I didn’t think I could like him any less.
Lard-Ass! Lard-Ass! Lard-Ass!
Dude Where’s My Carbohydrates?
Does this mean that fat kid from Modern Family will grow up to bang Katy Perry?
Now I’m hungry for hot wings.
Maybe Eibz, seems she isn’t to particular when it comes to snatch access.
Larry says: Did not know being Mexican was a phase you could grow out of.
You can’t, but if he doesn’t think you deserve it, Danny Trejo will come and take the Mexican out of you by force.
It’s kids like this that have driven down the demand for windowless vans.
I think you may be right, Crap. Hey, I bet her snatch looks like a catchers mitt! I just brought it on home.
You’d think being Jay Leno’s kid, you’d inherit a car (or 40). Too bad for him, God has a
cruelhilarious sense of humor and gave him some extra chin instead.I see your brows are full of discontent.
In his yearbook he was awarded: Most likely win over American Audiences with British charm
haha he looks like a bull dyke
Given the fact he has a hairline that sprouts forth from the middle of his forehead, I’d say that makes him the antithesis of Jude Law.
Her-cu-les!
Her-cu-les!
Her-cu-les!
That blanket party sure did change Russell’s looks.
I had no idea Russell Brand played Buzz in Home Alone…
Good gawd. No wonder he got so heavy into drugs.
Holy shit, he totally O’Connelled himself!
All your comments are rooted in pathetic jealously, because the guy is smarter, funnier, richer and actually quite a nice guy. Not to mention he can get any girl you can only have wet dreams about. Grow the fuck up. He’s awesome. Why don’t you all show your teenage pictures ya morons?
Phew, thank goodness you defended the international celebrity in these blog comments. What would he do without you? You are a great friend.