Oh yeah, like that's a novelty.
Every time I want to jump on the internets-hate-Kevin-Smith-now bandwagon, and it’s often tempting, I’ll hear him on some radio show and can’t help but think that he’s still a pretty likable guy. And anyway, what’s so wrong with wanting to distribute his own movies? He might take forever to get to the damned point (and sh*t), but it still seems like a perfectly worthwhile, not-necessarily-narcissistic goal (and whatnot). That being said, when you show up on daytime TV talking to Joy Behar about your recent weight loss, that seems like a pretty clear indication that you’ve overshared.
The director and ‘Jay and Silent Bob’ star told Joy Behar about his 65-pound weight loss in a high-energy interview that led her to ask, “Are you on amphetamines?”
Ouch. Damn, son, you just got asked if you were on drugs by a chick that used to work with Sherri Shepard. Then again, I guess anyone would seem like a speed freak compared to those lobotomized lumps.
Sorry, back to the interview. So, Kev, tell us, why the f*ck are you still wearing that butt-ugly hockey sweater?
Smith told Behar he “spent most of my life yo-yoing in terms of weight” and likes to wear loose-fitting hockey jerseys no matter what his weight is. “I call up Omar the tent maker,” he joked. “Get me a hockey jersey, and he takes all the rayon, all this material … and makes my jersey. It’s a whole team I’m wearing! I’m wearing twelve kids on my chest.”
Haha, great, that totally makes sense now. I’m glad we had this talk. I can’t wait to see Kevin Smith eye-raping me at the checkout stand from the cover of his next People Magazine tell-all exclusive, “I LOVE SHANTS! Clerks director finally comes clean about his lifelong love of the relaxed fit, hatred of exposed leg skin.”
Anyway, here’s a new clip from Red State. (Remember that? Kevin Smith directs movies.)
Three guys waiting to bang a mom in a trailer? Jeez, it’s like they filmed it inside your childhood.
(Yes, that was Melissa Leo, Oscar-nominated mom from The Fighter). [via MTV]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Clerks3-instagram-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-a-single-shot-stars-angry-disheveled-sam-rockwell-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Kevin_Smith_a_p-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/doc-would-explore-nic-cagekevin-smithtim-burton-superman-movie-150x150.jpg)
she still does work with Sherri Shepard.
/View’d
…and stuff like that. (edited for TV)
Lince, 1994 fucking sucked. We lost John Candy, Kurt Cobain, and Cesar Romero that year. Every time you bring up Kevin Smith, The Mighty Feklahr has to slingshot His spaceship around the sun to travel back in time and try to remember why anyone would still consider the fat blob even remotely relevant.
In short, The Mighty Feklahr doesn’t want to hear about the “nice, cool fat guy that made Clerks”. He would rather hear about a director that made one or two movies worth watching in the last ten years.
You are free to put up whatever you want on this baktag site, but don’t expect this Klingon to sit idly by and happily eat the bullshit about this moron you are trying to force-feed him.
However, The Mighty Feklahr will publicly disavow His diametric opposition to Kevin Smith news if you will post the Counting Crows video for “Mr. Jones” and positively assert that Counting Crows is still cool and isn’t talked about enough.
Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones…dead since 1994.
Am I the only one who chants Paul Blart Shart Shants?
/perchance?
I wear clamdiggers because I have to, OK?
I agree 100% with whatever Chareth Cutestory posts to this thread.
Seriously? Only 12 kids? Hardly a day goes by that I don’t end up wearing 300 million of my own potential kids on my chest.
@Fek–on the other hand, He should consider the fact that at least And Shit can tell a decent story. Paul Haggis is (debatably) more relevant and his big disclosure is that it only took him three decades to rethink Scientology. De Niro is one of the all time great actors and he’s the tediousest motherfucker on the planet. Tell us about banging black chicks and working on Raging Bull, dipshit!
@Larry
I really wish I could jump on the Blart Train, but I think my overwhelming submissions for the contest this week bars me from every making a PB joke ever again.
My secret to losing 140 pounds? Killing Joy Behar.
It looks like he’s draped in a massive Armenian flag.
Also dead since 1994: my Mom.
@Tits: I really hope my employer doesn’t ask me to pay them back for all the time I spent this week making Paul Blart film posters.
Meanwhile, Kevin Smith’s diet secret? After 9PM he only eats snacks that fit in his wife’s ass.
@Peet
Me too. At last count I had 13 subs, with a few ideas still in the tank.
I endured 32 minutes (out of 100!) of his appearance on the Adam Snoreolla podcast and this not-quite-as-fat-as-he-used-to-be tub of monkey spank did not drop one “and shit”, disappoint to say the least!
Is Melissa Leo’s character in Red State named Cherry Forever? Because watching that clip I got a solid Porky’s flashback.
Oh, so his hockey jerseys are like my I-feel-fat-today empire-waist dresses? I can’t hate that.
I once bought a dress from a maternity website, despite the fact that I never have been nor am I planning to become pregnant. It wasn’t a maternity dress; they were just selling it as one, and the regular clothes store didn’t have my size. Sooooooo yeah.
That went waaaaay off topic. Sorry.
I like to wear loose dresses too, Patty. The tight ones show too much tenting when I get excited.
“I’m now experiencing smaller meals and shits, and shit.”
Read Batman: Widening Gyre. Now you hate Kevin Smith too.
Widening Gyre made
Bob KaneBill Finger piss in his own grave.