It’s been more than two years since this whole crazy Birdemic thing started, and if there’s one thing writer/director James Nguyen has learned, it’s that alcohol and peoples’ enjoyment of his movie are closely related. At the second screening of Birdemic in a Park City bar in 2009, Nguyen wisely decided to start buying drinks for the assembled crowd of eight or nine people, and even though he couldn’t afford the eventual tab and the bartender tried to hold his stuffed bird for ransom (not making any of this up, by the way), people present that night paved the way for his eventual distribution deal and tour of packed screenings across the country.
Call it a lesson learned, because now, on the eve of the DVD release, James has some Martha Stewart-esque tips on how to make your Birdemic DVD release party extra special.
“What is a birdemic fest? And I encourage you all to have your own Birdemic fest. A Birdemic fest is simply a beer party, you know? A beer party, plus a DVD screening of my movie Birdemic Shock and Terror. …With your friends, with your family, with your buddy… just have a good time. You know… at home, in front of a TV, at a movie theater, camping… anywhere.
Buy multiple copies. For your Birdemic fest party. Give them out at the party. Just give them out as gifts. So again, a Birdemic fest is a beer party, plus a screening of my movie, PLUS, if you want, you know, a t-shirt, some coathangers, a Birdemic poster…”
“Maybe when you go camping, your buddy get cold. So I don’t know, maybe you stuff sleeping bag with Birdemic DVD. Maybe you try to have Birdemic Fest outdoors, but it rain and your TV keep getting wet. So I don’t know, maybe you make umbrella out of Birdemic DVD, keep TV dry for you and your buddy. Or maybe you hanging out with your family, and you see baby bird fall out of it nest, and now it look sick. So I don’t know, maybe you feed baby bird Birdemic DVDS, nurse back to health, and bring to your Birdemic fest.”
I love you, James Nguyen. Every time he says “beer party,” an angel gets its wings. And then explodes.
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Maybe you take a shart but don’t have toilet paper handy.So I don’t know, maybe you wipe blarthole with Birdemic DVDS.
“Buy multiple copies. For your Birdemic fest party. Give them out at the party. Just give them out as gifts. So again, a Birdemic fest is a beer party, plus a screening of my movie, PLUS, if you want, you know, a t-shirt, some coathangers, a Birdemic poster…”
The Mighty Feklahr assumes the coathangers are for unwanted Birdemic-fest-party-hatchlings.
Me toil part-time at Jah Cold Stone Creamery!
I’m assuming from the music in that video that as soon as the cameras stopped rolling, he did something heartfelt to win over Molly Ringwald.
James Nguyen vs. Tommy Wiseau: Whoever wins, we lose.
A t-shirt, some coathangars, a Birdemic poster…
*dons inky pee’s soiled turban, taps envelope on forehead*
Things found next to naked Vince in Nguyen’s crawlspace this time last year!
He really needs to take the Tommy Vu route and start marketing seminars where he teaches mouth-breathing losers how to buy yachts full of scantily clad birds.
Congratulations on your piece of shit movie!
Better bring some benadryl; those guys usually turn bright red when they drink.
Before watching the vid, i read the post with the voice of Amy Wong’s father. Much better that way.