My plan to get a PhD in James Franco studies from James Franco University is looking less attractive today after Franco was the second boredest guy at the Oscars last night (behind Tom Hanks). But there’s news to cover and JAMES FRANCO NEEDS ATTENTION, DAMMIT! The latest is that he’s supposedly working with batsh*t filmmaker Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo) on a piece of “violent video art” that they hope will climax in a real knife fight between rival LA gangs. A knife fight, eh? Seems like it might be a step back for a guy who’s already watched gay dudes sword fight.
Our source said, “They are looking to film two actual street gangs doing a fight scene. [which they hope will climax in a gory battle at an iconic location such as the Griffith Observatory.] The twist is they want the two gangs to fight, using real knives. The production team is panicked that they’ll end up with blood, injuries and potentially dead bodies on set.”
Korine had been working on a video called “Fight Harm,” filmed by illusionist David Blaine, which included Korine engaging strangers in street fights in New York. But he was hospitalized after six fights and forced to abandon the project. He said in 2000, “I got a lot of bones broken, I was thrown in prison and I had really bad court costs.”
A Korine rep told us, “I can confirm that there is indeed a piece of video art in the works involving gang fights by James and Harmony,” but declined to comment further. [NYPost]
“You say your name’s ‘Harmony’? That’s an interesting name, what do you do?”
“Fight strangers, mostly.”
GANGMEMBER: Hey, man, back up, I’ve got a knife.
JAMES FRANCO: That’s not a knife. THIS is a knife. (*pulls down dicknose mask*)
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“I’m here for the gang fight…”
I call dibs on stabbing the Apple Dumpling Gang.
*throws trident at a guy on a horse*
The Mighty Feklahr fervently hopes Franco can get Chet Haze and Charlie Sheen to fight via a rubber chicken duel (a la Weird Al’s “Eat It”).
Wow, it was hard thinking up someone with as much street cred as Sheen there…
James Franco is just hoping he ends up in prison so he can do research for his next movie about butt rape.
Research guys, it’s an NYU thing, you wouldn’t understand it.
But James, if you want to have gay sex, why don’t you just ask your classmates? It’s a NYU thing after all.
I always imagined James Franco being a much hotter chick.
/no homo
//sighs
I think this project could get better if Franco and Harmony actually start their own gangs. A movie about theater kids beating the shit out of each other is something I would pay to watch.
Besides, I’ve always said the most disappointing part about Fight Club is that no one was snapping in an organized manner to let you know how awesome the Jets are.
also: AIDS.
Franco = Maria
Ok, guys, before the gangfight begins, I feel its necessary to clarify the symbolism of my various tattoos.
See, the snake with a flaming skull for a head is a representation of Foucault’s lingering dilemma of the actor as a representation of the self in binary. Its all very theoretical.
Meanwhile, I see the heart with the knife through it as a fundamental statement about the nature of violence as a replacement in the human soul for the nurturing of genuine companionship. I consider it to be sort of a visual reference to a lot of the themes I tackled in my most recent visual experience “L’jest du mon dicknose”
snapping in an organized manner to let you know how awesome the Jets are…
I get that, a Big Fan reference, but it’s the Giants.
$387 says Franco kills a man with a trident.
This past year when I was in Paris and saw Foucault’s Pendulum in person, I learned a really important lesson. If you shove your girlfriend over the little mini-wall surrounding it because you think it would be funny, people will yell at you in French and ask you to leave the Pantheon.
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR BRINGING UP FOUCAULT.
[I] plan to get a PhD in James Franco studies from James Franco University…
Ahoy, fellow Francophile! Let us greet one another in the traditional fashion.
*slaps dick across Vince’s nose, waits…*
This just in: Franco petitions Congress to alter English language so that the word “Franco” is used in place of any noun, verb, adjective, or adverb being used.
Foucault you both.
This is what happens when people mistake notoriety for fame and relevance.
Ok, so what do you want from James Franco in this knife fight? You want him to cut somebody? Alright, I can get him to do that. I can get Franco to cut somebody. But you have to ask yourself, why do I want Franco to cut somebody? What does it mean? See in my thesis for my PhD. in nasusphallistic philosophy I have been getting him to really get to the core of the question here. Are we just, like, cutting flesh or something deeper? I can stab you, but I wouldn’t really… you know… be stabbing “you.” Just what I have come to conceive of you.
Why don’t we just cut to the chase and have Sheen and Franco perform the act from The Aristocrats
Why don’t we just cut to the chase and have Sheen and Franco perform the act from The Aristoc
ratsFEK’SD!
I hope Harmony Korine gets involved in that knife fight and suffers some serious injuries.. that still would not make up for the pile of shit that is ‘trash humpers’ though.
I’ll go $388.50 on the trident action
I think it would be more Franco if they were to perform a live-action version of the Aristocats.
Bah! Why can’t Parker Posey do something interesting so He can shoehorn in some crummy jokes about His video game?
Guy’cha! That’s what a dick step feels like?
Petition in:Franco confirms Franco to Franco on the Franco but only if Franco will Franco.
Seeing James Franco in a dress made me want to watch 48 Hrs. If only Hathaway had been in black-face.
Franco would have gotten the reaction he was looking for if he had worn that dress to the BAFTAs two weeks ago.
Fek: Parker Posey will never do anything interesting. Zero boobs = zero interest.