And now, a sex robot sucking on a sausage. Do not click on this unless you want to be severely disturbed. Last I checked, that included oh… all of you. You’re already watching it, aren’t you. Crazy, right? I like how the video says “You can imagine what else she likes to suck on!” Gosh, are you sure I can, Sexbot video? I’m not very creative! I hope this isn’t an actual product, but a way to ferret out people who should be on the sex offender registry. “Check out our new sausage-sucking sexbot! She’s got three working orifices, including a fully-functional uncanny valley!” And it has all the unblinking eyes and rigor mortis lips to which I’ve become accustomed?! Hold the phone while I find my hooker-skinned wallet! [Fark]
MORNING LINKS
Flowchart To Determine Your Star Wars Occupation. |Uproxx|
You know who else likes to say “literally” a lot? The Google CEO. (On the plus side, he seems to use it correctly…) |TheDailyWhat|
Who Stole The Corpse Of An Italian Game Show Host? |UproxxNews|
And here’s a sweet brawl inside a McDonald’s. |BostonBarstoolSports|
Culture Clash: Baby Sloths vs. Classic Literature. |Uproxx|
The 10 Worst Shows to Be Top-20 Hits. |WarmingGlow|
Facebook To Get Oregon Trail? |GammaSquad|
12 Memes You Should Know By Now |NextRound|
James Cameron is on Twitter, yo. |ScreenJunkies|
Comic Book Artists Reimagine Criterion Movie Covers. |Moviefone|
The best picture nominees, in Lego form. |NextMovie|
The seven best lines from Nic Cage’s Season of the Witch. |HolyTaco|
The Life And Times Of MF DOOM. |SmokingSection|
Supercut: The Movie Alphabet. |Buzzfeed|
FilmDrunk on Facebook. FilmDrunk on Twitter. The Frotcast on iTunes. Comments of the week. FilmDrunk Shirts on Sale
And finally, here’s a rough approximation of my reaction to the banner video:
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Titanic-Hate-mail-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Marlbunro-Man-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_mm4c3xLhCT1r77ccao1_500-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_mm8f74O0Xx1r4u63lo2_500-150x150.jpg)
Holy sausage-sucking robots! When did C+C Music Factory reform???
Charlie Sheen: I’ll take 2! 3 if they can babysit.
Looks like Kevin Smith won’t be the most self-righteous, long-winded director on Twitter anymore.
Sex robot, huh? Well la di da, Jay Rockefeller.
*continues applying lipstick to dustbuster*
@JimCameron In submersible anti-gravity chamber, LOL WUT. Also what’s the deal with Charlie Sheen?
no kung fu grip? WTF JAPAN
Cherry 2000 or GTFO!
I’m looking forward to Cameron’s Twitter rant about how we’re too reliant on technology.
The Mighty Feklahr refuses to have sexual relation with a robot.
Well, any more robots…
Since this is as good of a place to state this observation as any, The Mighty Feklahr thought He would narrate some observations/pontifications of the movie Juno He made last night when He caught it channel surfing whilst loaded on beer and the last of His vicodin:
1. First and foremost, it seems like many people accolade this movie for all the wrong reasons. The cutesy dialogue and kitschy-pseudo-hipster themes were probably the least compelling aspects to a movie that had such surprisingly well developed characters.
2. Jennifer Garner is in this? Who knew??? I guess because she didn’t talk on a hamburger phone, her solid performance deserves no attention.
3. The teenagers were REAL. Real kids with emotional/psychological/intellectual shortcomings. They didn’t know it all, and they didn’t have it all figured out.
4. The commercials on Oxygen are fucking horrid, and any human being that routinely watches that channel needs to be sterilized.So, the short version is, Juno is actually a decent movie, but not for any of the reasons that get widely discussed.
Durst’lhr
I just think it’s nice to see someone giving Goldie Hawn a shot at resurrecting her career.
My only regret is not having that song at my wedding. Especially since that robot was already one of the bridesmaids.
“This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.”
I see what you did there, YouTube.
Best uncanny valley joke ever.