Even though he’s too cool to respond to any of *my* emails, director Spencer Susser told GordonandtheWhale that this isn’t the trailer he wants you to see.
“I’m sure you’ve seen or heard about the HESHER trailer that’s spreading around. I wanted to let you know that it’s far from the official trailer. It’s a trailer cut for foreign markets from the same “geniuses” who tried to change the name to “rebel”. While it’s not a bad trailer, it was created by the foreign sales representatives of the film for the specific intent of explaining the film to people in foreign, often non-english-speaking markets. I’m happy to see that people online like the trailer and are interested in HESHER, but the trailer doesn’t accurately present the tone of the film or the character of Hesher. Anyway, I’m looking forward to sharing the official trailer which will be out very soon and I feel will communicate the film’s intent more clearly.”
Yeah, whatever dude. The GordonandtheWhale guys blow goats, I have proof.
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Chris has ball shingles? What?
Not a nutshot, technically speaking. More like a kick to the groin. I’m willing to accept JGL taking a kick to the groin if it means this movie will EVER F*CKING OPEN!
You’re right, Erswi. I altered the post to include the all important Bas Rutten angle. Dangeta dangeta dang, and you will not be bothering me anymore, little friend.
I like my nutshots with a side of goofy music and an extended pause on pained facial expression. This will not do.
Maybe JGL is so well-liked that he could actually transcend the laws of nutshots in movie trailers, thus rewriting the laws of the universe!
Jesus, was your thumb wearing a keffiyeh scarf while you typed that?
I’m sorry, but Cobra Commander cannot transcend the laws of the universe; this movie just sucks. You’re going to have to accept that now.
*sigh* It was magical thinking.
How many Inceptions and Heshers will it take for JGL to be free of GI: Joe? I ask you!
BTK, if he’s in the certain to be forthcoming sequel I wash my hands of it.
I like this movie (without having seen it) because every time I watch a trailer, I feel like I’m listening to Ace of Spades. And that gets me pumped to do crazy shit, like go to an open house and give a false name to the listing broker.
Dark, quick cut, that could’ve been a teep for all I know. I can look the other way.
Erswi, there is no way to ever be free of GI: Joe. He’ll wear that mark for the rest of his life.
The nutshot isn’t the kiss of death – the cross-eyed reaction to the nutshot is.
Are you yIntaghs ready for the truth?
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
GI Joe: Rise of Cobra wasn’t that bad. THERE, HE SAID IT!
DANG! And now, your leg is broken.
Someone post the gif of Bas palm-striking Shamrock in the face, and Shamrock laughs at him.
As for the groin shot, The Mighty Feklahr is conflicted. Granted, it isn’t a “miniature golf windmill incident hilariously gone awry into Paul Blart’s gunt”, but it is practically identical to the car thief/Tracy Morgan kick from the Cop Out trailer (and that movie sucked).
However, The Mighty Feklahr is siding with JGL on this one (mostly to spite the Cobra Commander haters).
Inception made me forgive him for (500) Days of Summer. I thought that movie would be cute, but it was borderline painful. And he was so clingy and mopey.
GI: Joe was better than Transformers 2, but that’s like saying that between Goebbels and Mengele, that the one who didn’t do sick experiments was the better Josef.
Man, Piper Laurie has really let herself go.
Donk, The Mighty Feklahr gave GI Joe 3 stars on Netflix. Live with it.
SCRATCH THAT! I gave it fucking FOUR!!! WHA HA HA HA HAAAA!
GI Joe had Channing Tatum AND Marlon Wayans. It was like torture porn but aimed at the audience. Never forgive.