At the rate he’s going, James Franco will only be content when he has received a Ph.D. in James Franco studies from James Franco University located on beautiful James Franco Island. The Dicknose in Paris auteur’s latest project is a college class about him, which he’ll be teaching, called “Editing James Franco with… James Franco.” I hope that on the first day, he walks in carrying a boombox, sets it on his desk, hits play, and a massive “BRAAAAAAHM” echoes throughout the lecture hall.
Wait, check that part about the lecture hall. This class will be offered at Columbia College Hollywood, in lovely Tarzana, California. No lecture hall, only carport.
Academy Award-nominated actor James Franco has partnered with Columbia College Hollywood to offer an innovative course through which 12 of the private film school’s best editing students will create a 30 minute documentary film from videographic footage from Mr. Franco’s own unorthodox career.
Mr. Franco’s frequent collaborator editor and Tyler Danna [sic] is teaching the course, which has been entitled Master Class: Editing James Franco…with James Franco. Mr. Franco is providing the footage – much of it from behind the scenes on short films he has directed – and the conception for the course and will speak to the students weekly via live feed (Skype) and attend class the weekly class sessions [sic] when his schedule allows. The student editors will seek to create a cinematic image of James Franco through the footage.
As conceived by Mr. Franco and Mr. Danna, the class sessions themselves will be taped and be part of the final film created by the class or another project. [official press release via Movieline]
Additionally, all the students will be required to build, maintain, and at all times wear an incredibly life-like James Franco mask. Schedule permitting, Franco will occasionally pop into class and give a lecture, which will consist solely of him saying, “Francovich francovich? Francovich francovich francovich,” while writing “Francovich” on the chalkboard. At which point, the students will all write “Francovich Francovich Francovich” in their journals, on the covers of which will be a large, standardized picture of James Franco wearing a t-shirt with a picture of James Franco.
(*cough*) JAMES FRANCO! (*cough, cough*)
PASSERBY: Phew, James Franco! That sounds like a nasty cold.
ME: Oh yeah, my hand to James Franco, it is. Anyway, James Franco, and a merry James Franco to you and yours on this fine James Franco, sir.
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Hey buddy, you got your James Franco in my James Franco.
That campus was built with the sole purpose of helping Franco conceal the small doorway that John Cusack found for him while searching for ways to undo the Emmeriching his credible acting career has suffered.
Jesus, who wrote that press release, James Franco? While high?
This is much better than Suny Geneseo’s course, “Kevin James on Paul Blart: The finer points of Segways and the digestive system.”
Needs more Franco.
The only reason I’m not making a dismissive wanking gesture is because I hurt my wrist at yoga last night.
The top editor will splice together footage of Franco banging Franco in a violent but sensual manner. The Franco will become so aroused that he will then sponsor a Biology class with the goal of cloning Franco so that the film may become reality.
You know how if you repeat a word over and over it starts to lose its meaning? This article did that to me with James Franco’s name.
What the Franco are you talking about Doctor?!
I swear to God, I typed “Franco” so many times during that post that by the end I had to Google it to make sure I was spelling it correctly.
If I were him I’d change my first name to Franco, too.
The only way to complete the paradox is to get James Franco to play Vince in a movie.
Any word on whether the students will be required to edit with one hand tied behind their backs?
Isn’t that just Franco. The other day I was down at the Franco picking Francos from the Franco, and Gargamel came after me.
(*cough*) JAMES FRANCO! (*cough, cough*)
PASSERBY: Phew, James Franco! That sounds like a nasty cold.
JAMES FRANCO: Sure wish I had a cold so I could blow my nose.
I bet this is all just viral Marketting for the Season finale of Community
ATTORNEY GENERAL DAVE FRANCO: President Franco, The Japanese have attacked Franco Harbor.
PRESIDENT JAMES FRANCO: Franco Damnit, send Ambassador Dicknose to Paris and prepare the Franco for a message his Francoian people.
Franco, you can’t be serious.
I am, and don’t call me Franco… wait, I mean… uhh… Quick, I’m trapped in a Franco-loop. Get me 10 college degrees and a supple young man to carry them. Without pants this time.
If James Franco had a Being John Malkovich door, we’d find him on the Jersey Turnpike 15 minutes later, sobbing. “There was finally enough Franco,” Franco would say. “Franco as franco the eye could franco.”
Viva la Generalísimo! That, and midget abuse in cinema!
James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James FrancoJames Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco James Franco
“When I think about me I touch myself.”
~James Franco.
Your first assignment in the James Franco Master Class is to watch all 18 hours of this behind the scenes footage of James Franco masturbating into a cup full of gold doubloons and re-edit so that it appears as if the doubloons are masturbating onto Mr. James Franco.