Damn you, Marvel. I dig up a movie about a dog in the mafia, which was about to be the internet’s next big thing, and they go and release a new superhero thing that will be all anyone talks about for the rest of the day. Blog humbug.
Anyway, yeah, it’s the Captain America poster. The film’s being directed by Joe Johnston, so it’s probably going to suck, but the poster allows me to pretend it won’t for a few minutes, and that’s about all you can ask. Well done, poster designer guy, take the rest of the week off. Still, a little somber, no? I mean, I thought this was America. Where’s his muscle car? Shouldn’t he be shredding on a sax solo?
I also like how his suit has abs. All my clothes have that. Even my red,white, and blue snuggie. I like to wear it around the house and pretend I’m a new superhero, “Caftan America.” (more new-ish pics below)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Iron-Man-3-Robert-Downey-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Kingsley-RDJ-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/new-movie-trailer-thor-the-dark-world-from-marvel-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/only-god-forgives-poster-150x150.jpg)
The suit may have abs, but if it doesn’t have nipples it’s a piece of shit.
I like the suit but I mean don’t those materials look way out of place for WW2?… I mean super soldier serum I can believe, but synthetic fabrics of that caliber during that time period really tests my suspension of disbelief.
Deep Thoughts while having your world collapse.
Oh gawd, is that denim? TACK-EEEEE.
Why couldn’t it be a Megan Fox/Wonder Woman poster that simply states “CLEAVAGE”?
Paul Blart presents: Flabby American!
*Paul Blart dresses like “Get A Brain Morans” guy, let’s a massive juicy fart rip, sending chunks all over the place*
MONTEZUMA’S REVENGE
Eh, he’s no Ryan Reynolds.
A blonde-haired, blue-eyed ubermensch created to fight Nazis. FUCK YEAH, AMERICA!
I’m with Gassko . . . no nipples, and the shield is hiding the codpiece? Not aroused at all. I mean impressed, not impressed at all. Damn, I wish my backspace key worked.
Does he remind anybody else of Luke Wilson’s character “Frank Vitchard” in Anchorman?
I hope he tells Red Skull “Oh yeah? Well you’re about to be in dead place.”
Who is he “AVENGING”? Did somebody throw eggs at his frat house?
He doesn’t want you to see the burrito
A blogger in a red-white-and-blue snuggie? Catfan America.
I’ve never read the comic, so I’m going to assume that Captain America’s superpower is Blue Steel.
Why does he always look so pouty? Is that just his normal face or is he going for some kind of Michael Bay-ish “staring into the distance as things explode behind you”? Its really fucking annoying.
Blog humbug?
Honest to blog, that has to be the worst thing I’ve ever read.