In news that only a billionaire father could love, Will Smith and Jay-Z are in talks to bring a modernized version of the musical Annie to the big screen, and of course it’s going to star Smith’s daughter, Willow. Because it’s her time to shine. The elder Smiff already launched his son Jaden’s acting career by remaking The Karate Kid, which grossed a ridiculous $350 million while crane-kicking Ralph Macchio’s legacy in the balls.
The involvement of Jay-Z, who previously sampled a classic Annie song for his similarly titled “Hard Knock Life”, makes it evident that the retelling will involve hip hop, which sounds great. Hopefully some unique new takes on the classic soundtrack can distract us from believing that the daughter of an entertainment icon is a poor orphan.
Drop that funky beat for all the chickens in the club, All Hip Hop…
Willow Smith is currently an artist on Jay-Z’s Roc Nation imprint, which is a partnership between the chart-topping rapper and Live Nation, the largest live entertainment company in the world.
She has already had a hit single with the song “Whip My Hair,” which peaked at #11 on Billboard’s Hot 100 Chart.
Only #11? Come on, that song was overproduced to at least be a Top 3 song. Either way, I think a great idea for the Smith family’s next project would be a remake of Look Who’s Talking with their next child as a newborn. Except in this version, Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith will spend millions to give their baby the ability to actually talk to us telepathically. His first thought? “Hoo boy, Tom Cruise is gay.”
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It’s a hard knock life for us. Instead of friends we get movies.
Smith kids : classic movies :: Glee kids : classic songs
Warbucks throws a fit when Grace brings home a little girl orphan instead of a boy. You have any idea what would happen if she brought home a little black girl?
… That’s right, she’d be part of kitchen staff.
To research the role, Willow is going to spend a couple of weeks living with Jazzy Jeff’s kids.
Do you think they’ll have a cast full of rap and R&B stars?
R. Kelly is not invited.
In this version, they figure out that Annie’s “parents” are running a scam because there are two of them.
Do you think they’ll have a cast full of rap and R&B stars?
Diddy Warbucks or GTFO.
In this version, we discover at the end that there weren’t really black billionaires during the Great Depression, Annie is just an autistic girl and it all takes place in her head.
But she has scientologist parents that insist it’s just allergies, so stay tuned for the all hip-hop remake of Oklahoma!
Hey, you have a picture of Willow Smith with her eyes removed? So do I, we should hang out!
In this version when all the other little orphans show up to the Warbucks mansion, they’re arrested under the RICO act.
An unwanted black child? How preposterous. What will they think of next.
In this version, when they sing “Let’s Go To The Movies” they sing it through the entire movie.
I’d like to see the Smiths go to Southern Sudan for a remake of Birff of a Nation.
Yes, I support the back to Africa movement. Just because I’m white doesn’t make me wrong.
Gabourey Sidibe will play the sun.
In this version, Annie doesn’t really care that the swimming pool is indoors.
Daddy Warbucks will be played by Brangelina.
Sandy in a dog-fighting ring or GTFO.
(Proud to say I had to Google “Little Orphan Annie Dog” to learn his/her/it’s name – Didn’t read long enough to learn if Sandy’s a he, she or it.)
Unable to find the words to clearly describe my total response to this amazing post I instead went to mediatakeout.com and have recycled this gem from the story: “EXCLUSIVE PICS: SEE PRIVATE PICS OF JAY Z AND BEYONCE . . . ON THEIR YACHT!!”
— take it away Bunni2Gay:
ZZZZZ wake me up when it’s over
In this version “We’d Like to Thank You Herbert Hoover” is being re-written as “George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People.” Mike Meyers to guest star as Uncomfortable Bert Healy.
In this version when Annie visits Washington D.C. to sing “Tomorrow,” John Boehner will just not stop crying.
In this version The Asp is played by Jay Chou but IMDb thinks it’s John Cho.
In this version instead of making bathtub gin, Miss Hannigan runs a meth lab.
In this version instead of “Little Girls” is the number “Shorties Be Trippin’.”
Hello? Is this thing on? *taps mouse*
I heart you, Beeks.
BEEK!
diddy warbucks deserves to be a meme..and hi, im new…fuck
Instead of ANNIE they’ll change the title to TYQUEISHA.
Will Smith – *On the phone* Oh I gotta go my damn weiner kids are listening. *Hangs up*
Willow – We’re not weiners!
Will Smith – Then what are you dressed like that for?
Jayden and Willow – YOU MADE US!