A while back, I brought you the news that Mickey Rourke was interested in playing openly gay Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas. Now comes word from his agent that Rourke is so serious about it that he’s considering having his two front teeth removed. Jesus, gay rugby sounds like a rough sport.
Wales on Sunday now says the Wrestler star is going to take out his teeth – as Thomas doesn’t have any front chompers – and wants to shoot the picture in Wales.
Thomas’ agent Emanuele Palladino told Wales on Sunday that Rourke wanted to be as faithful as possible.
He said, ‘Mickey wants to film everything in Wales, although it is early days.
‘He really wants to throw himself into Welsh and rugby and really learn as quickly as he can. He’ll learn Welsh I think, obviously where it is relevant as well.
‘He is going to get rid of his two front teeth and stuff – he will be taking them out.
‘Mickey intends to get as close to the character as he can, as he thinks it is a great story.’ [inmovies.ca]
Huh, I always thought Wales was closed on Sundays. Anyway, the difficulty here isn’t so much that Mickey Rourke will have to remove his teeth or learn Welsh, it’s more that Gareth Thomas is a 36-year-old professional athlete and Mickey Rourke is a clayfaced, 58-year-old, tiny-dog-loving party animal. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, more that I think about it, Gareth Thomas should be doing a biopic about Mickey Rourke.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/java-heat-trailer-features-a-super-serious-kellan-lutz-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/11/Rourke-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/Seven-Psychopaths-Christopher-Walken-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Mickey-Rourke-Gareth-Thomas-150x150.jpg)
I am going to go kill a liberal on my lunch break.
[dirtyhairy.blogspot.com]
Whoa, for a second there I thought it said he really wanted to throw himself into Thomas and not Welsh! Then again if he’s going to remove his choppers he may as well get some hot backdoor action out of it!
/no homo
Ok the bottom of the webpage is confusing my penis. You’ve got a picture of Kendra in a bikini on top of the golden voiced hobo guy.
If he wants his front teeth removed for free he should just bogart Nolte’s paint huffing bag.
I’d imagine that not having any front teeth has come in handy for Thomas on the dating front.
@Fek–”The slur “injun,” referring to Native Americans, will also be replaced.”
If it’s any consolation, Rourke’s missing teeth will be replaced with the word “injun.”
Hey Fek, I saw that on my local news last night. Stupid fuckers -despite having a graphic of the book cover -kept calling it T.S. Eliot’s classic novel.
Rourke will get his dental money’s worth by also playing Michael Strahan.
Rourke will get his dental money’s worth by also playing Lauren Hutton.
I wasn’t aware until just now that Fek’lhr had his own blog. My happiness from this realization almost outweighs my homicidal rage from them pussifying Huck Finn. Almost.
Jamaal Charles STD’s -Nope. A friend of mine lost her front teeth playing hockey and she had the same idea. Evidently the sides of her remaining teeth fucked up the poor guy’s cock something horrible.
“This just in: Welsh rugby players have some jacked up teeth”–Golden-Voiced Hobo
Must be really hard for a gay rugby player named Gareth with no front teeth to introduce himself.
Frotcast challenge: Try as hard as you can to say “My knee ligaments are loose” in the best approximation you’ve got for Gareth Thomas’ voice.
This one should drive Brett to murder.
Mickey’s 2011 Christmas list is really short.
Every time I see the word “frotcast” I picture Vince trying to use his dick for a fishing pole.
He’s fishin’ for crappie.
@Morton Salt
Thanks for the heads up man. Guess I will have to rethink my “Girlfriend gets hit in the mouth with a football” strategy.
The more you know.
Learning to speak with a welsh is redundant: they already sound like they have a cock in their mouths when they speak.
*emerges from murky Cambodian river, The End by The Doors, machete in one hand…Arby’s Jr. Roast Beef in the other*
They let our children watch Glee, but won’t allow them to read Mark Twain because it’s obscene!
And yes, I finally made myself watch Apocalypse Now Redux. It was ok. But I am always weird for a few
years months weeksdays after watching Apocalypse Now.This would be like getting your balls removed to play the lead in The Vince Mancini Story.
So, let me get this straight … Gareth Thomas is gay, Welsh, fit and fabulous. And he’s not an actor? And a guy named Mickey Rourke is American and NOT a rugby player? I say fuck you liar.