
UPDATE: Now with audio of the job offer
A guy who was homeless yesterday has a house and a career today, and he owes it all to Al Gore, inventor of the internet. After being featured on this site and countless others (all of whom totally copied me), Ted Williams, Columbus Ohio’s golden-throated hobo, was inundated with job offers. I didn’t want to be the d*ck who pointed out that radio jobs pay about the same as panhandling, but the happy ending is that the job came from the Cleveland Cavaliers, who offered him a position doing voiceover work and a house. A house in Cleveland? That’s like a $10,000 value right there.
“The Cleveland Cavaliers just offered me a full-time job and a house! A house! A house!,” repeated a stunned Williams,
71,53, on local radio station WNCI. [video of the latest interviews below]A caller to the show who said she represented the Cavs offered Williams a full-time job doing voiceover work for the team and parent company and a free home in Cleveland.
The Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, native trained to be a radio announcer before drugs and alcohol ruined his chances at a career, and he was reduced to begging on the side of a road in Columbus, Ohio, before the newspaper found him.
Local police would refer to Williams as “Radio man,” when chasing him from his usual begging spots, where he earned around $30 an hour, Williams said.
THIRTY DOLLARS AN HOUR??? This guy didn’t need a job, he needed an accountant. [Update: the video below puts the figure much lower, but don't think that means I'm rewriting my joke]
“I’ve been out there about a year; I just didn’t know anything like this would ever happen,” an overwhelmed Williams said earlier in the show. “There’s so many words. I’ve already been compared to Susan Boyle [that was me! -Ed] … I’m just so happy.”
Before the Cavs made their bid, the station said a group of credit unions offered Williams a contract worth up to $10,000; a caller claiming to rep MTV expressed interest in having him guest-announce a show; and callers who said they were the voiceover actors behind plugs for “The Simpsons” and “Entertainment Tonight” said they wanted him to compete on their upcoming “America’s Next Voice” — where the prize includes a home studio. [NYPost]
It’s kind of anticlimactic after the thing about the job and the house, but he also has a website and a Twitter page. Anyway, I wish the guy all the best. He has an amazing voice, and that makes the story so much nicer because it doesn’t give you that icky feeling you get when people do something solely out of pity, like when the retarded kid wins the dance contest. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to embark upon a far more lucrative career in the field of alcoholism and panhandling. Though I suppose I could just say “a career in the field”, couldn’t I.
(I’ll post the latest videos below as they come)



I can’t wait to hear “Fuck Lebron” in that silky-smooth voice.
Now…now all we need to make this story complete is to have the guy that voiced the pig going “WEEEEEE!” in that fucking commercial to end up on the streets addicted to crack.
Fucking sellout.
*slow clap for Donk*
Since the NYPost didn’t proofread their article:
He’s 53, not 71, and he was making $30 a day, not an hour. Also, do you know how much bike horns a laser sound effect bumpers fucking cost???
I can’t even afford the “nd” in “and” because of these fucking laser effects! *pew pew pew* WORTH IT.
Still, he couldn’t spend 1/30th of his daily earnings to sponsor a child in Africa? What a dickhead.
Hiring a bum to speak to Cleveland fans is a smart idea. He knows their language.
Damn it, boPa, I already started smoking crack.
SNL should hire this guy so they finally have a passable Obama.
I compared him to a wolfman and I see he didn’t mention that. Well, la-di-da, your majesty. I hope the Three Little Pigs come round and get their own back. I don’t really. Cleveland, eh? Is that good?
^^ he reached a similar success through asking the world for change.
How about a career in ending your post with improper punctuation, eh?
Why didn’t the Red Sox immediately try to hire this guy? I can’t think of a reason why they’d be way behind the times when it comes hiring minorities for the announcers’ box
Dammit! COTY is f*cking with me.
I don’t like putting question marks at the end of rhetorical questions I don’t intend for people to read with an inflection, so suck my dick.
See? See? More agitated solicitude that manifests when people criticize your work!
COTY, go get yer old dad a beer!
You’re not my real dad!
GOD DAMMIT COTY!
But you don’t mind ending it with two periods separated by a parenthesis?
FUCK YOU! SUCK MY DICK! (*ray gun*)
When offered the free home in Cleveland, Williams stated that he’s so happy about getting the job that he’s willing to accept the downgrade to his living arrangements.
I was hoping he’d be hired to do some color on the next edition of “Bumfights.”
Don’t you mean (*ray gun*)*?
“THIRTY DOLLARS AN HOUR??? This guy didn’t need a job, he needed an accountant”
Don’t forget Vince he has to pay Social Security from that. And considering he’s self employed he’s getting hit with the 12.5% rate. Throw in Medicare and the property taxes on his shopping cart and it’s no wonder he was homeless.
“the guy that voiced the pig going “WEEEEEE!” in that fucking commercial to end up on the streets addicted to crack.”
If he doesn’t have enough money HE will have to be the golden-thoat hobo.
I hope that the people who hired this guy realize that where the voice goes, so goes the aroma.
You did a fine, fine thing here Vince. I never would have guessed Erica Hill ended up on The Early Show on CBS.
This is guaranteed going to be made into a movie and I think it should be called “Hobo With A Shot… At Happiness!”
I bet he can’t wait to take a shit in a bucket in the privacy of his own living room.
Jon Stewart passes the Zadroga bill; Filmdrunk gives Golden Voice Hobo a job.
Dude’s new nickname has to be “The Splendid Drifter®™©”, amirite?!
Breaking this story could totally be a stepping stone for you, Vince. Maybe he’ll let you take over his offramp!
I want him to give a motivational speech to my genitals; if anyone can get that lazy sack of shit to contribute something to society; it’s this man.
Of course they hired a hobo. Like there’s any other kind of person to hire in Cleveland.