
So yesterday, in honor of MLK’s birthday, I was sitting in my living room listening to Glenn Beck, plotting revenge against the blacks (I kid, I kid, I heard it on NPR when they were playing it down at the Chai Co-Op), when Beck took up the topic of the Spider-Man musical. Julie Taymor’s Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark has taken a lot of heat lately for having to be re-written, for costing upwards of $60 million dollars, for being more dangerous than a Russian motorcross show, and most of all, for being a Broadway musical about Spider-Man with music by U2. (“IN THE NAAAAAAAME, OF WEBS/FLYIN HIIIIIIGH ON MY SPIDER WEEEEBS…”)
But Glenn Beck liked it, so at the very least, it must not glorify socialism or death panels or whatever. (audio clip after the jump)
“The New York elite, they’re not going to like this. Everybody says Wicked is the one to go to — this is better than Wicked. MUCH better than Wicked.
I’m telling you, mark my words, it’s being panned right now, but I’m telling you, you go buy your ticket, because when this thing opens, you will not be able to get tickets for a year. This is the Phantom of the 21st century. This is history of Broadway being made. I sat next to the casting director by chance, and I told him, ‘You, sir, are a part of history.’”
“Don’t listen to those effeminate intellectuals, why watch a Spider-man movie at home on TV for free when you could spend 200 bucks to see it as a Broadway musical in a room full of gay guys? …Wait, crap. Perhaps we should’ve vetted this bit first…”
“I told the fellas down at the bath house, ‘this could be the next West Side Story.’”



This baktag will be singing a different story when he sees what Spiderman does to the Smurfs!
Oh, he would.
But better than Wicked? Beck, you are completely awful in every way.
If he said this about “Rent” Glenbeckhasaids would have the most appropriate commentor handle ever.
What’s the over-under on a forthcoming article detailing Taymor bribing Glenn Beck for some promotion with the Edge’s coke stash?
Gauche, ridiculous budget, an absolute bloodsport… very Republican come to think.
I fucking love this guy.
If they ever get this thing off the ground (Ha!), the spectacle will be historical, and it will be hard to get tickets. But, at the same time, this is one of those “Shit from shinola” deals.
What are you guy whining about? I think it’s great that Glen Beck likes Ice Cube’s Wicked.
[www.youtube.com]
That sound you hear is the mouth-breathing from thousands of dipshits burning calories on caring about Glenn Beck’s opinion on the spiderman musical.
The show will sell out, maybe even for a year, due to the shear spectacle that draws in the tourist crowd. But unless they do something about the story and the generic U2 music it won’t have legs? Beck will be right at first, make a huge deal out of it, but never mention the show again after ticket sales start to falter.
Glenn Beck told me Ann Coulter’s pussy is full of spidermen. Arachnoid accoutrements he said.
All your a’s are fine.
Really, I think this supports my thesis that Spider-Man is the NASCAR of Broadway.
I sat next to the casting director by chance, and I told him, ‘You, sir, are a part of history.’”
I thought Glenn Beck was opposed to death panels?!
Fags everywhere
Underwhelmed by
Cantankerous
Klan-wizard’s
Gushing over
Lame,
Execrable
Nightlife theater.
@PattyBo: Did you read Gamma Squad yesterday? Denis Leary totally stole your simile on Conan:
“I’m not big on musical theater, I don’t really go, but if I can go to the theater and be guaranteed that guys are going to smash into walls and fall into the audience . . . that’s like NASCAR theater to me and I’ll pay extra money.”
I think he owes you
oralroyalties.This doesn’t even bother me at this point. Glenn Beck liking the Spider-Man musical is far down the list of reasons why I want him to contract AIDS.
DAMN YOU, LEARY.
*waves fist*
@ GlennBeckHasAIDS
It’s funny because Glenn Beck is the tv equivalent to herpes.
Wait, does herpes cause you to hallucinate and piss your pants in fear?
Is the world so lacking in able word-makers that this guy needs a daily radio AND tv show? His radio show is 3 f*cking hours.
Nobody has that much to say.
Ticker on FoxNews™:
‘Spiderman: the Musical’ Proves Hitler was a Leftist.
Armond White reviews musicals now?
I ain’t buying a ticket until Sarah Palin says she likes it.
And we’re surprised that Glenn Beck loves a musical that features gay bashing?
Glenn was accompanied to the show by a chalkboard in a dress.
This is the Phantom of the 21st century.
I don’t know. I’m still haunted by W. being elected twice.
1. Overuse of the colors Red, White and Blue…check
2. Young man with “identity issues” and a tendency to leave a sticky mess wherever he goes…check
3. Dancing and singing (gay hobbies.)…check
Sounds like everything that Glenn Beck puts on his Christmas list.
Glenn Beck is to the news what your sister is to not being a whore.