batmobile

Everyone hold onto your nipples. The Batmobile is for sale. Sayeth the Ebay seller:

Own the ACTUAL “Batman Returns” Batmobile, TM & Copyright 1992 DC Comics, Inc. from the Warner Brothers Movie “Batman Returns” with Michael Keaton.

This is NOT a Replica!

This is the exclusive and Legally Authorized ORIGINAL Movie Car with FULL DOCUMENTATION AND oroginal executed contract from Warner Brothers & DC Comics and is only the SECOND authentic “Batman Returns Movie Batmobile” ever offered for sale.

Batmobile #3 is in the BEST CONDITION of ANY of the Batmobiles.

The current high bid is in the $300,000s, but there is a Buy It Now price of $499,000. That’s a hell of a lot money, even for a multiblog Uproxx fill-in extraordinaire such as myself. But I really want the Batmobile. Like, A LOT. So here is my proposal: the Film Drunk Twitter account has 12,000+ followers, and the Facebook page has over 6,000 likes. Even accounting for a large amount of crossover, I’d estimate there are 15,000 or so unique individuals between the two. All we need is 5,000 of you to chip in $100 and it’s ours to share. That’s right. For one day every 13.7 years, the Batmobile can be YOURS. The auction closes at 9pm ET tonight, so we have to act quickly.

Think of all you could do with the Batmobile. You could play it cool — pull up to a fancy club, emerge from the airplane-style cockpit, hand the keys to the valet and say “Hey, try not to scratch it,” like it’s a 1998 Civic. You could play it badass — drive around town at 100mph daring cops to chase you. You could play it petty — show drunk up outside your ex’s apartment at 3am and go all Mike Dexter, “… REALLY, AMANDA?! WELL SOMEBODY JUST BOUGHT THE BATMOBILE! WHO’S IMMATURE NOW?!”

Or, hell, you could just just dress up like Batman and take it to the supermarket. The world would be your oyster.

Or fried oyster, as it were

Or fried oyster, as it were

So, please, contact me if you are interested. Oh, and don’t worry. There’s only, like, a 10% chance I turn this into a Ponzi scheme and bail with money.