Comments of the Week!
01.09.11
It’s comments of the week time again, folks. Just as a reminder, I’ve still got plenty of original-print-on-100%-cotton American Apparel tee FilmDrunk shirts on sale at FilmDrunkShirts.bigcartel.com (modeled above by PaulyDangerously, below by acclaimed Hollywood megastar Chris Mintz-Plasse). Yes, I’m out of XLs at the moment (restocking soon), but I’ve got everything else from Girl’s Small through XXXL.
Now then. I’m pretty sure Donkey Hodey already has a FilmDrunk shirt, but this comment could not be denied. From The Finnish Dog Who Mocked Hitler:
Donkey Hodey says: The Americans had a problem with the dog too, as every time they would say “FDR” the dog would scoot his butt across the carpet like it was pulling itself in a wheelchair.
Historically accurate, offensive to the disabled, involves animals acting like humans — yep, pretty much all the FilmDrunk bases covered.
Read on for the honorable mentions. ONE OF THEM COULD BE YOU!!!
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Personally, I’m more amused by sonorous descriptions of vagrancy than by explosive cuntquakes. Just fancy that way I suppose.
finally some recognition!! now i can stop cutting myself while i’m beating off. (and use my free hand to strangle myself instead…)
I got a mention!
*throws fist in the air* I gotta call my momma!!!
If a regular doesn’t post snarky comments this week, I’m just going to assume that user name belonged to Jared Loughner.
Guess I’m just gonna take my chances with this cuke…
Exploding diarrhea was his backup gift in case his plans fell apart.
GOD DAMN IT PAULY, MOUNTAIN VIEW MOUNTAIN LIONS DO NOT TACKLE LIKE OLD PEOPLE FUCK (NOT TOO OFTEN AND NOT TOO FUCKING WELL)
AND THEY DO NOT, I REPEAT, THEY DO NOT SHOOT UP GOD DAMN SHOPPING MALLS…
Yes, I have a FilmDrunk shirt too. I can’t pull it off like Pauly though.
(while holding a knife to her throat the whole time)
I don’t know if this is permissible by COTW guidelines but fuck it
Lester Hayes Mayes from above:
If a regular doesn’t post snarky comments this week, I’m just going to assume that user name belonged to Jared Loughner.
I agree Shop101, but everyone should have known Jared Loughner was off his rocker because he STILL had a MySpace page.
I’m pinning up the Play Doh comment on my fridge.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Michelle07 says: Kraft Hobostyle macaroni and “cheese” should come with a tiny trash can you can light on fire to heat em up YUM!
Let’s all have a moment of silence for Crappy’s station wagon.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Crapbasket says:
When my families’ old station wagon, we lovingly called Kublevagon, finally died, my mom told me that they took it to my Uncle Ray’s carancho where it would have all sorts of room to run and play, not that they sold it to the Pick-a-Part for $150.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Fek’lhr using the fine Klingon art of subtlety:
Yeah, Cruise is a seat filler all right…
Second Fek. Also, same post, YA’ BURNT.
Stinky Peet says:
Yeah, and I’m sure Tom Cruise called Harvey Weinstein and let him know all about his role in Tropic Thunder before it hit theaters. Swords ain’t just for crossing, Tommy Boy, they can cut both ways too.
YES! With the requisite syntax error!
[Plays "Slam" by Onyx at top volume, thrashes office]
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
I swear to God I don’t know why, but Shop 101 makes me chuckle with this one-
Is it cheaper if I just want to wear it in a vial around my neck? I’m still happy to send the detailed photographs.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Chino Moreno:
I’d order this but with my luck it’d probably come too fast and end up in my hair.
Seconding sticky Chino.
…in unrelated news, I finally understand Michelle07‘s avatar.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
spazmodic says:
His commanding officer is Fiddy Centurion.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Homo Erectus says:
Was the loss of the other footage really an accident? Or did he just find a harsher editor at the Walmart where it was being developed?
“I like the call back to Truffault here, but let’s burn out the twenty self-serving minutes about how mexicans are alergic to condoms.”
Stinky nooooooooooooooooo! It’s delicious frosting, here taste it.
Get that man a movie deal (developing Solitaire as a James Franco vehicle)!
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Donkey Hodey:
Yeah, everyone is playing for #2 this week. Second Donk and if you don’t get it, ask your Grandparents what a “BM” means.
I thought Two-girls-one-cup was the most devastating ICBM of all time.
True story-His step-uncle Steve calls his BMs “ballistic missiles”.
Step-uncle Steve also likes Hannity.
True story -One time as kids, my grandfather was at our house re-tiling the bathroom. When we came home from school, he asked if anyone needed a “BM”. My brother Paul, thinking he meant “Big Mac” said that he’d love one, but could he also have some fries with his “BM”? My grandfather died a little bit that day, and he treated Paul like he was retarded from that day until the day he (my grandfather) died the rest of the way.
I would have welcomed this sort of perspective scrolling under the CNN coverage, Menace 2,
I call it pounding metal when I jerk off into my aluminum foil hat.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
And for chrissakes, Fek,
Ya ever notice that “chet” is the sound a good wooden bench fart makes? in Tom Hank’s Wigger.
Spaz’s Fiddy Centurion FTizzle-W.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Michelle07 says:
I’m a fixin to run through his sprankler!
Niiice
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Stinky Peet says:
Julie Taynor’s Spiderman also wears a one-piece outfit, except his is a rear-tying gown.
Second Peet.
ChaseMit same post made me laugh pretty hard
“I guess the villain this time is anorexia.”
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
ChaseMit says:
The working title for the spin-off film is “Never Going to Happen.” Co-starring Halle Berry as Jinx.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Oh, Morty.
I pray to the Whoopster that it turns out he’s one of those sexual predator fake doctors and he’s been telling women for years that they have cancer and the only cure is true love, and this is the first lady stupid enough to believe him. The final lines of dialogue, after the post-coital confession:
So, I DON’T have cancer?
No. But you do have HIV.
He punches her in the face, credits role over freeze-frame of Hudson’s nose breaking upon his fist, I applaud, tuck dick back into pants, help my mom out of her seat, we leave.
Same post, Chino:
“I told you meeting Whoopi in the afterlife causes cancer.” -Patrick Swayze
Wow. That’s the comment to beat this week.
Yeah, and I fucking NOMMED it, bitches!
*leans back, folds arms, somehow manages to stick thumb up butt*
Yeah, sorry Donk. Chino cock-blocked you with that one.
Fourthed . . . as if she needed the help at this point. Chino just locked that shit up for the week.
Holy shit, Yeah, I’d happily concede to that. Fifth or whatever.
I know it’s a race for second place now but Fek just made me pee my pants a little in the Batshit Crazy Werner Herzog (seems a bit redundant) post –
The Mighty Feklahr wishes Herzog would have shot this with cold Miller Lights and 2 Live Crew.
This is turning into Chino’s prom, all the guys are fighting for seconds.
There’s a catch to my seconding. Pics with the FD shirt and NOTHING else or she doesn’t win. Deal?
Second J.
7th or 8th or whatever for Chino. Also,
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Jacktion! says:
Gary Busey was perfectly sober, but the police had to ask him to remove the straitjacket before going back out on the road.
Danger Guerrero says:
Nic Cage acts with all the subtlety of a flashing neon rainbow sledgehammer to the groin.
More also-rans from [filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Fek‘s entire Chet Haze routine, starting with:
More like “White and Derple”.
Michelle07:
Chet Haze has mad menstrual flow.
The Reverend Skeleton:
It took Christina Hendricks 10 years to get as fat as she is? Ha! My wife did it in five.