This summer… Adam Sandler’s finding it kinda hard to be a– (*RECORD SCRATCH*) (*pulls lottery ball from plot generator*) …A FAT GUY! (*Black-Eyed Peas song fades in*)
Strangely, this news comes by way of Miguel Arteta, whose last two films were Youth in Revolt and Cedar Rapids (opens February 11th), both of which I loved. While doing the press rounds at Sundance, Arteta let it drop that he’s interested in this Adam Sandler-in-a-fat-suit concept. I don’t know what’s weirder, that Arteta’s interested in this or that it hasn’t already been done.
Oh, Fatty McGee, you’re the fattest:
“I’d love to do a movie with Adam Sandler that… someone said he was flirting with? It’s called Fat Man [CALL IT FATTY MCGEE, DAMN YOU! -Ed.]. I don’t know if you’ve heard about this? One of the main writers of The Simpsons wrote the script and it’s amazing. He would play an 800lb guy who has a love affair between him and his nurse. And he’s naked for the first half of the film… and it’s very touching… and it’s very funny.
So, I hope he gets the gumption to do it, and maybe I get a crack at that, that would be amazing. Certainly, it would be not a movie you would forget anytime soon… and [it’s] beautifully written. I don’t know if that’s meant to get out on the internet…”
Dammit, Arteta! Have you forgotten the first and second rule of Adam-Sandler-in-a-Fat-Suit Club?! You have no idea the danger you’re in! Kevin James will stop at nothing, NOTHING, to ensure that this project never sees the light of day. If Adam Sandler starts doing fat-suit movies, he’s out of a job! You think he’s going to let that happen?? Not a chance!
LOOK OUT, HE’S GOT A FART!
Addendum: Alternatively, Adam Sandler could always produce, with Kevin James starring. This summer... Paul Blart Presents: Farty McGee.