Hey Luke, how many months behind on your rent are you?
File this one under wowsers. 127 Hours, the story of trapped hiker Aron Ralston later adapted by Slumdog Millionaire’s Danny Boyle and starring artsy-fartsy wonderboy James Franco, was almost a Luke Perry production. Starring Brian Austin Green. I will now post a block quote, to buy some time to clean the brain matter off of walls. Hit me with some unnecessary exclamation points, omg! from Yahoo!
“This movie that was made just recently — Danny Boyle film with James Franco about, the story of Aron Rolston — ’127 Hours’ — I tried to acquire the rights to the story and do it with Brian [Austin] Green,” Luke revealed to Billy Bush and Kit Hoover on Friday’s Access Hollywood Live.
“Brian’s a great actor,” Luke continued of the star, who now appears on “Desperate Housewives.” “I thought he ‘d be great in that part, but Danny Boyle, he got it… Brian’s a great actor and I always wanted to find something to do with him.”
Now, I’m kidding here because I love. The above caption isn’t fair. Luke Perry has maintained a career as a working actor since his heartthrob days on “90210,” which is no small feat given how most teen icons end up. And what Brian Austin Green lacks in a long-term, successful acting career, he more than makes up for in “body parts that have been inside Megan Fox.” So, again, kudos. But I don’t think there’s any doubt that the movie ended up better with Danny Boyle and James Franco attached. (Haha, that is funny because the movie is about Ralston “detaching” his arm, and you are welcome for the explanation.)
Although Brian Austin Green does have Franco matched in one area: the arts. While Franco is becoming a darling in the more avant garde, experimental circles, Green has street cred leaking out his butthole. Exhibit A after the jump.
via AV Club
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Seth Rogen almost got it and had it re-interpreted as Jonah Hill eating his way out of a Kosher sausage factory!
“Hey man, don’t touch that.”
“Relax… I’m black.”
Brian Austin Green saying “swiggedy switch it up” is whiter than a Klan meeting at J. Crew.
Mel Gibson almost got it and had it re-interpreted as Christoph Waltz sawing off his arm to save Hitler.
Pretty sure this is just a publicity stunt to capitalize on the number of people who’ve said they’d cut off their arm to sleep with Megan Fox.
I’m pretty sure the base player at the 0:33 second mark grew up to be Tarantino’s coke wizard.
What James Franco lacks in having street cred leaking out of his butthole, he makes up for in having other things leaking out of his butthole.
Michael Bay was negotiating to reimagine this as Shia LeBoof being trapped in a canyon with a boulder on his finger! BOOM! HERE COMES THE BOOM!
The Mighty Feklahr “switches it up” by setting the van on fire instead of burying the cheerleaders.
BAG was pretty bad-ass on the Sarah Connor Chronicles.
I was thinking of buying this and changing it so that my manhood got trapped in Megan Fox’s vagina. I was not planning on cutting of my dick, however.
Joey Lawrence thinks ‘Switch it Up’ is fucking lame.
Whatever. Does Kelly still get raped?
If success is measured by what you put your D in, Brian Austin Green’s success can’t really be questioned.
More like Brian Austin Gangrene.
Thank God the black guy was there to edumacate them whiggers by turning up the volume.
“Hey, don’t get that fire near our marijuana cigarettes, you’ll ruin…oooooooh.”
[Crappy emerges from canyon with only one testicle]
I’m never doing that again.
Aron Ralston applauded the decision to give this to Danny Boyle.
Well, not really, he more of slapped his leg and yelled “Harf!” several times.
Aron saw his movie 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… wait, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… shit! A bunch of times.
Guy’cha! There were so many African-American gentlemen dancing with Caucasian ladies that The Mighty One was sure He was viewing the University of Iowa Men’s Basketball Athletic Team on “Bring Your Girlfriend To Dance Night”. In Iowa.
That was a wiff, hold on, I’ma fix it;
Crappy: Hey Aron Ralston, how many times have you seen your movie?
Aron: Hmmm, let’s see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… wait, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…shit! A bunch of times.
Now THAT’S how you celebrate a rec center saving!