The Golden Globe nominations were released today, and I know what you’re all thinking: sorry, better luck next year, Channing Tatum. Anyway, I was all set to explain why the Golden Globes are a sham voted on by a shady group of foreign “journalists” who can basically be bought off with a nice gift bag, but then I noticed that among the nominations for best picture (musical or comedy) were Alice in Wonderland, Burlesque, Red, and The Tourist. I mean, that pretty much says it all right there.
And of course Johnny Depp got a best actor nod for Alice, because if there’s one thing the Hollywood Foreign Press loves, it’s
BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
Black Swan (with obligatory picture)
The Fighter
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social NetworkBEST MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Alice in Wonderland
Burlesque
The Kids Are All Right
Red
The Tourist
BEST DIRECTOR
Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan
David Fincher, The Social Network
Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
Christopher Nolan, Inception
David O. Russell, The FighterBEST DRAMATIC ACTOR
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
James Franco, 127 Hours
Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine
Mark Wahlberg, The FighterBEST DRAMATIC ACTRESS
Halle Berry, Frankie & Alice ["A drama centered on a young woman with multiple personality disorder who struggles to remain her true self and not give in to her racist alter-personality." -Ed, via IMDB ]
Nicole Kidman, Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Michelle Williams, Blue ValentineBEST ACTOR, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland
Johnny Depp, The Tourist [You like Johnny Depp, Jesus, we get it already.]
Paul Giamatti, Barney’s Version
Jake Gyllenhaal, Love & Other Drugs
Kevin Spacey, Casino JackBEST ACTRESS, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right
Anne Hathaway, Love & Other Drugs
Angelina Jolie, The Tourist
Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right
Emma Stone, Easy ABEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christian Bale, The Fighter
Michael Douglas, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jeremy Renner, The Town
Geoffrey Rush, The King’s SpeechBEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, The Fighter
Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech
Mila Kunis, Black Swan
Melissa Weaver, The Fighter
Jacki Weaver, Animal KingdomBEST ANIMATED FILM
Despicable Me
How to Train Your Dragon
The Illusionist
Tangled
Toy Story 3BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE PICTURE
Biutiful
The Concert
The Edge
I Am Love
In a Better WorldBEST SCREENPLAY
127 Hours [Really? Screenplay but not direction? -Ed]
The Kids Are All Right
Inception
The King’s Speech
The Social NetworkBEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Alexander Desplot, The King’s Speech
Danny Elfman, Alice in Wonderland
A.R. Robin, 127 Hours
Trent Reznor, The Social Network
Hans Zimmer, InceptionBEST SONG
“Bound to You,” Burlesque
“Coming Home,” Country Strong
“I See the Light,” Tangled
“There’s a Place For Us,” The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
“You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me,” BurlesqueTELEVISION
BEST TV SERIES, DRAMA
Boardwalk Empire
Dexter
The Good Wife
Mad Men
The Walking DeadTV SERIES, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
30 Rock
The Big Bang Theory
The Big C
Glee
Modern Family
Nurse Jackie [Really? No Community? Big Bang Theory and no Community or It's Always Sunny? This is a serious list? I don't even know what The Big C is. Is it about your mom? The Big C is a show about your mom, isn't it. -Ed]BEST ACTRESS, TV DRAMA
Julianna Margulies The Good Wife
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Piper Perabo, Covert Affairs
Katey Sagal, Sons of Anarchy
Kyra Sedgwick, The CloserBEST ACTOR, TV DRAMA
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, HouseBEST ACTOR, TV MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matthew Morrison, GleeBEST ACTRESS, TV MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Laura Linney, The Big C
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Lea Michele, Glee
Edie Falco, Nurse JackieBEST MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Carlos
The Pacific
Pillars of the Earth
Temple Grandin
You Don’t Know JackBEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Hayley Atwell, Pillars of Earth
Claire Danes, Temple Grandin
Judi Dench, Return to Cranford
Romola Garai, Emma
Jennifer Love Hewitt, The Client ListBEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Idris Elba, Luther
Ian McShane, The Pillars of the Earth
Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack
Dennis Quaid, The Special Relationship
Edgar Ramirez, CarlosBEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Hope Davis, The Special Relationship
Jane Lynch, Glee
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Julia Stiles, Dexter
Sofia Vergara, Modern FamilyBEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Scott Caan, Hawaii Five-0 [HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -Ed.]
Chris Colfer, Glee
Chris Noth, The Good Wife
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
David Strathaim, Temple GrandinCECIL B. DEMILLE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Robert De Niro
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Why the hell does Community keep getting left off of lists for best television comedy?
They should give Best Actor, TV Drama trophies to all the guys on Mad Men who had to pretend to want to bang Elisabeth Moss
I really want Scott Caan to win.
[Strolls up with a hand in one pocket furiously jangling his keys]
I always liked Shirley Eaton’s golden globes.
Jennifer Love Hewitt got a nomination for her hooker mom movie? I guess that makes two reasons to use her name and “golden globes” in the same sentence.
In Frankie and Alice, Halle Berry’s “racist alter-personality” hates blacks, so she tries to strangle herself. Fortunately, she just gives herself an orgasm and realizes she’s the inventor of choke ‘bating.
And if that’s not the actual plot of the movie I don’t want to hear it.
Seriously, they have got to stop COMPLETELY ignoring Community.
At least nomiate Danny Pudi or something.
God I hate you, Crappy.
Nominate.
It’s been a rough day.
Did you scratch your Lost DVD?
hehe bewbiez
Film and RT score;
Tourist 20%
Burlesque 37%
Alice 51%
Red 70%
The Kids are Alright 94%
Not sure what this means, but it seems that all the shit that Hollytardland shills is intended for Eurotrash.
WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE.
*sobs*
So someone explain 2 things to me… how The Tourist falls under “Musical or Comedy”.. and how Piper Perabo gets nominated over Kelly McDonald(Boardwalk Empire)??
As far as I’m concerned, THE TOURIST was the funniest film of the year. The next funniest was RED. ALICE IN WONDERLAND was probably the third funniest film of the year.
And by funny, I’m sure you understand that I mean, “so goddamn aweful I laughed my ass off”.
Golden Globes = OVER
Really? The Tourist?
Johnny Depp movies are the Billy Mitchell of shitty awards.
Ah, this list appeals so much more to European sensibilities, you see. The Big C is huge in Japan.
Because they have small d’s.
Black Dawg: Halle Berry is a racist bitch.
I just got a sneak peek at next year’s noms (I know, weird, right?)
BEST MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Pirates 4: Blahrdety Blahr
Rango
Youtube video of Johnny Depp taking a dump
Edward Scissorhands (a rare retroactive nomination due to previous oversight)
Random Skeet Ulrich movie
Winter’s Bone getting the shaft is disappointing, although foreigners probably think Missouri is as fictional as the rabbit hole (although with meth instead of mushrooms).
“The Ozarks are a real place!”
“Oh, are they near Los Angeles?”
“No.”
“New York?”
“Not really.”
…
“Los Angeles?”
At least Hans Zimmer got nominated for the Inception score. But where was the Best Song recognition for the hit single “BRAAAHHHMMM (Love Theme from Inception)”?
Not much love for The Fahkin Queeah Town. Maybe the voters were Bostoned out after Fighter and Social Network.
Nice to see two movies (Iception and Black Swan) “stolen” from Satoshi Kon’s (who died at a premature age this year, and i bet they won’t even honour him) genius works Paprika and Perfect Blue respectively, nominated for Best Picture.
Btw, Vince, if you don’t care for any non-Pixar animation almost as much as i do, you should at least watch Kon’s work. It’s japanese anime i know, 99% of it sucks (and only Myiazaki gets some respect), but seriously, his work is on top with the best movies ever, not only in the animation genre. And his only tv show – Paranoia Agent – with only 13 eps, it’s a freaking masterpiece.
Yesterday a hooker squatted over my glass table and the entire Best Musical or Comedy Motion Picture category came out. Best fifty bucks I ever spent.