
Here on FilmDrunk, we’ve got lots of smartass commenters, the smartest assed of whom we reward each Monday with a FilmDrunk shirt. That’s Pauly Dangerously in the pic on the right, staring triumphantly off into the sunset. Well it’s Monday, so it’s time to award some shirts. (For those not clever enough to win them, you can still buy them here. I’ll mail one more batch tonight and then I’m done until after Christmas).
Here’s my top four:
[From Live-Bear Version of Yogi Bear] Donkey Hodey says: Also, for TV shows: The Fresh Prince of El Bear.
The twist is that they’re Mexican… and bears.Con-Bear would have been awesome too. “Put the bunneh in the baske-AAAAAAAAAAAHH”
[From Nic Cage to Remake Taken] Larry says: “I do have a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. For people in general, actually.”
[From Frotcast 27] Robopanda says: Ooooo, someone went to Columbia. La di da with your fancy degree and your pants that probably don’t have a dead former nursing home patient’s name written inside the waistband with a laundry marker. Me and *checks waistband* Maynard are reeeeal impressed.
[From ReeseWit and RPattz Love a Retarded Elephant] zjhgd8 says: “Jacob, yer changin that retarded elephants life.” “No, he’s changin mine.” Followed by Christoph Waltz strangling the elephant.
Since Donkey and Larry are previous CoTW winners, and Robopanda works here, by process of elimination I must award zjhgd8 a shirt, even though he has a terrible FilmDrunk handle that makes me sad. So email me, zjhgd8. And read on for the honorable mentions:
[From Trailer for 5 Fast 5 Furious Bicurious] openwideforchunky says: Looks like Vin Diesel’s career is going down the Dwayne.
[From Jon Favreau Won't Direct Iron Man 3] spazmodic says: Sounds like someone thinks he’s too big to ride the ferrous wheel…
Jesus, I thought Chunky’s pun was bad.
[From the "We're Not In Kansas Anymore" Supercut] Charlie Bronze says: Kansas sounds like a sh*thole.
Ahh, love the British ‘drunkards.
[From White Pride Groups to Boycott Thor over Chocolate Norseman] Ace Rimmer says: For coloured gods who considered suicide when guarding the rainbow is enuff.
[From Trailer for Paul is Making Me Look Like an Idiot] bane of trebeks existence says: IFC is gonna be pissed you’re looking like an idiot on the side.
See? Now that‘s how you insult me. And finally:
[From Bison Riding in Car and Morning Links] Donkey Hodey says: Finally a take on Street Fighter that not even Chris Klein would work in.
Get it? Bison? It took me a second, I’ll be honest.
As always, nominate in the comments section for next week. FYI, you can always find the up-to-date CoTW post in the Comments of the Week link on the side bar to your right.



I don’t even know what I would do with two shirts. Maybe I’d look as gay as Pauly.
I can’t wait to win my Filmdrunk sports bra.
Where’s your effing Lorax, Pauly?
Who do I have to blow to get a shirt?!?
(looks at picture of Vince)
$14.99, huh?
I was waiting for the valet to bring it around.
I’d like to nominate giantcowofdoom for nominating my comment from this morning in last week’s post.
*sad trombone*
Whoa, Peet. When I read your comment, my internal monologue went:
NAAAAHHHHHHMMMMMMM.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Stinky Peet says:
That topless chick makes perfect sense if the hospital slipped an extra comma into “photos: breast, cancer awareness” on Rourke’s itinerary.
I don’t even know what I would do with two shirts. Maybe I’d look as gay as Pauly.
You’d be known as Donkey “Two Shirts” Hodey.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Crappy
I performed milakunis on my fiance and she made me bacon for breakfast the next morning :D
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Monks says:
If I wanted to watch two hot jews going at it, I’d toss a dollar bill out my window and then light them on fire.
A comment in the Comments of The Week section (just above)which had me crying, Stinky Peet’s:
I’d like to nominate giantcowofdoom for nominating my comment from this morning in last week’s post.
*sad trombone*
Second Crappy for his milakunis performance.
Well *fine*, I’m perfectly happy with my unofficial filmdrunk T.
/writes BABYRAPE on hairless chest with Sharpie
“Stinky Peet says:
I’d like to nominate giantcowofdoom for nominating my comment from this morning in last week’s post.
*sad trombone*
Morton Salt says:
Whoa, Peet. When I read your comment, my internal monologue went:
NAAAAHHHHHHMMMMMMM.”
= Filmdrunk Vaudeville. Nominate.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Stinky Peet got a genuine audible laugh out of me with this one:
He’s not dead, moron, he’s in a hospital dressed like Spider-man.
They wrapped the building in red and blue spandex? Did they learn nothing from the Discovery Channel?!
I can’t be the only one who thought the outermost stars on that shirt were Pauly’s nipples, can I? Did he take this picture on his break from the local taqueria?
Fucking Burnsy for the
webwin on [filmdrunk.uproxx.com]911 Dispatcher: “Good Lord, how many times do we need to send an ambulance?”
Anonymous Producer: “Uno, dos, tres, catorce!”
Dos Burnsy.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Stone Soup says:
“Look out! Here comes Spider Man!” said the second chair flautist.
And I’ll throw in a tres for Burnsy.
Is it just me or are people bringing their A-games this week?
Jersey Devil on [filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
We’re gonna need a bigger butt.
…and…
And the type of shark? Hammered-head.
…and one for openwideforchucky:
That shark’s deadly reputation has been tainted.
Kudos to Peet for this shark-butt-killing bit . . .
“Hey Horatio, which one of your guys finally nabbed that killer shark?”
“It wasn’t us, it was just some random . . . ”
* sunglasses *
” . . . drunken asshole.”
YEEEAAAHHHHHH!
and also to FlaccidPlatypus for . . .
“looks like the shark met a nasty “end.”
If that second one had been a Horatio-type one too, I think I would have peed myself a little.
Catorce Burnsy!
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
turd ferguson says:
This is why they banned fourloko.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Stone Soup says:
The shark’s last words: “Oh. My. God, Becky.
Second Stoney.
Oh fuck, I missed a hell of a day.
14th Burnsy,
2nd Stinky’s Hospital
Third Stoney’s shark butt.
Now that someone explained “Oh my God Becky” to me, third for Stoney.
Fourth or fifth Stoney’s big ol’ booty.
Yeah, have to cinco* Burnsy.
*? My Gaelic is a bit rusty.
I’m here for Sir Stones Alot Becky comment.
They were all freaking good. Good show drunkards, carry on.
*monacle drops into moon cup
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Watanabex says:
The only logical step in this movie series is for the Little Fockers to grow up and fall in love with the Kuntz
Stoney FTMFW with “Oh My God Becky”
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Crappy Popped out of a box and punched me in the dick with this:
Gary Busey burned his memory foam pillows because he thought they were stealing his memories.
I’m just gonna’ go ahead and nominate Crappy and Donk’s entire Busey back and forth.
I was partial to this one:
Donk:
Gary Busey once cut himself with a Swiss Army knife and declared war on Belgium.
Second for the Swiss Army. In a sea of gems that one made me lol. AND I NEVER LOL.
saw this on cinemax last night, not sure if its been mentioned before but the movie Black Sheep (2006; not the chris farley movie) directed by Jonathan King defines awesomeness. The pitch to the producers? 3 words: Mutant Zombie Sheep. Look it up, the highlight for me was when a guy at the end gets his wang bitten off. And yes, this is a real movie
Chareth Cutestory says:
Gary Busey gets out of speeding tickets by careening off cliffs.
That Busey thread was like an early Christmas present, only covered in chocolate and fed to you by a naked ScarJo (or Ryan Reynolds for the ladies). T-shirts for everyone!
silent clap for stoney
Stone Soup says: Gary Busey once killed a mime with an axe while trying to rescue him from a “tiny glass box”.