The first trailer for Transformers: Dark of the Moon has hit the web, and it’s huge news in the movie blogosphere. In related news, I pray for the day when these terrible movies aren’t considered huge news. (*makes robot sound while wanking dismissively*)
During the Apollo 11 mission, the astronauts end up on the far side of the moon or “dark on the rock,” as it were and they have 21 minutes to investigate what seems to be a crashed ship. The hull has been breached. Extensive damage. We are not alone in the universe.
Most agree that the Transformer who crashed on the moon in 1969, and is seen in this teaser, is most likely Alpha Trion.
Alpha Trion is one of the Original Thirteen Transformers…He is generally depicted as an ancient mechanoid with a link to Optimus Prime.
The original thirteen Transformers were “created by the god Primus before he went on to create the rest of the Transformers race.” [SlashFilm]
Alpha Trion is, of course, not to be confused with ‘Bater Trion, the virgin bot who forever sacrificed the touch of a woman to spend his life researching Transformers lineages.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/give-it-a-year-poster2-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/Lego-Movie-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/imacyborgbutthatsok-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/if-you-liked-the-wolf-of-wall-street-youll-love-the-wolves-of-wall-street-starring-eric-roberts-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
I liked this movie better when Ed Harris was in it.
So, I am guessing this is what they were hitting golf balls at back in the day? No matter the world, dudes are gonna aim for the guy in the vehicle.
All I got from that was getting to yell a very satisfying “WHEEEE” as I pantomimed moon bouncing as I walk away.
“created by the god Primus”, that means the movie will sync up with ‘Sailing the Seas of Cheese’ or GTFO!
Wait, there’s a robot god? Really?
Way to go, Michael Bay. You out-lamed Avatar and its hippy magic tree.
Oh, fuck, like the moon-landing-was faked conspiracy theorists need any more fodder. I guarantee you this trailer will be presented to me as evidence* for a faked moon-landing at some point. I hate Hollywood so much.
(*for those that don’t know, I go to various forums and debate “counterknowledge” and pseudoscience. UFOs and biblical creationism is big with the fucktards. I literally had footage from “Fourth Kind” presented to me as archival footage of an alien abduction, the intellectual equivalent of using “The Blair Witch Project” footage to prove witches exist.)
why the FUCK is it so bright on the dark side of the moon?
I don’t care what kind of technology they use, image processing through that eye made of meat grinders is not going to work.
How the hell am i supposed to know what products to buy until this movie comes out?
Alpha Trion was quite colorful, and the movie will reveal that the other 12 transformers – tired of him talking about his wild dreams – sold him to a group of hairy mooninites.
Jesus moonwalking Christ. How in God’s name can you have a plot hole in a *trailer*? It’s under 3 minutes! The Apollo landing vehicle is like four feet from the transformers’ ship. So it’s visible to any 8-year-old looking through their creepy uncle’s fancy telescope that he let you use if you would just mow the lawn while not wearing a shirt.
It must have been really hard for Bay to resist the extra dollars that would have come with naming him Alpha Scion.
The rest of the film will have a slow motion, 360 degree camera panning, 121 minute shot of the American flag being planted on the moon.
@Donk: That and the offer to name the robot god Prius.
The cool thing about the robot god Prius is that all of his creations have excellent resale value.
The bad thing is that their brakes fail and they do shit like crash into a moon.
I’d say that Shia shocks me by continuing to star in this crapfest series, but after his car accident he can’t shock anyone anymore.
“Dark on the rock”? Thats was the signal used for the police to nab Marion Barry.
the above stated is a smart fuckin joke.
Anyone else notice the inception Brahhmm in the trailer?
Meh, not enough eye blades.
@hobakinte it’s not “the dark side of the moon” just the dark of the moon. don’t get all grammatically correct on this epic piece of amazing number one happy times film!
@matthewburgoon yes, yes I did. I was checking the comments just to see if anyone else had mentioned it
Can we at least get Pink Floyd to do the soundtrack! I’m confused is it set in the the late 60′s? haha……..No of course not, we have to see Shia and the new hottie! I at least want dinobots and tits in this one since I never got Scatman Crothers for my bumblebee:( Maybe we can have Jar jar in this one since we lost the twins in the last one.Or how about a tranformer Mexican Taco truck in this one, we can call him Machete!
Who wants to bet that one of the robots shot Kennedy? any one? anyone?
I still contend that DARK OF THE MOON = an anus
The other astronaut? Shia LeBouef’s mom and dad in one suit.
Albert Potato – not only that, but am I the only one who is more offended by this than any Seltzer/Friedberg movie?