USA Today just released the first picture of Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and boy is it exciting. Here I've been dying to know what Penelope Cruz would look like in Party City's least revealing Adult Halloween costume.
On a blustery gray morning in the Painted Hall of the Old Royal Naval College, Johnny Depp's seafarer is being dragged forward by guards for an audience with King George II (Richard Griffiths), who wants him to seek the Fountain of Youth.
The king has already recruited Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) to join the mission, meaning Sparrow's old nemesis has gone corporate, 1750s-century style.
The proposal goes badly, as expected.
Along the road to the Fountain of Youth, Sparrow will meet a friendly mermaid (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) and be tempted by a wicked former flame (Penelope Cruz) and her sadistic father, Blackbeard (Ian McShane) — but there will be no Will and Elizabeth (Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley). [USA Today]
No Orlando Bloom? NO ORLANDO BLOOM??!? This is a travesty. Why, thy very name is synonymous with excitement and intrigue.
[pictures via Yahoo]
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Fuck the Fountain of Youth, can somebody in a Pirates movie please start looking for the Fountain of Bigger Tits?
He looks like he’s about to show her how to do the Pirate Shocker. (The Shockarrrr?)
Ok I hope that this is the rum that washes the taste of old timey std ridden Pirate jizz out of my mouth that Pirates 3 left me with.
I was honestly on the fourth slide before I realized the headline said “excitement” and not “excrement”.
Fuck the Fountain of Youth
HOW DARE YOU HOMOPHOBE THE HUGH JACKMAN IN YOUR ASS!
I honestly thought they’d superimposed Kiera Knightly’s face on Cruz in that first shot. She’s totally channeling her.
This is a whole new level of unnecessary.
It’s like everyone expected the first movie to be completely awful, so when it was mediocre, they thought it was OMG THE BEST EVER. But it’s really just not completely awful.
It’s the cinematic equivalent of settling on a loser because your love life sucks.
Barbossa
Not a very piratey name. He’s missing the arrrr.
Keira Knightly is playing the role of the sunken chest.
Johnny Depp’s seafarer is being dragged forward by guards for an audience with King George II (Richard Griffiths), who wants him to seek the Fountain of Youth.
Looks like this karma chameleon…
*puts on sunglasses*
Wants to become a Boy George.
YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
You too Morty? I thought my mind was stuck in “Scatalogical.”
No, wait, I saw the last one and jumped to a conclusion.
Brazilian up, BTK.
Wow. They so masterfully captured EVERY SCENE FROM THE FIRST THREE, but with the “brightness” turned up.
Sister: So I hear there’s going to be a fourth “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie.
Me: Yep.
Sister: That’s a shame.
Pirates of the Caribbean 4- Taste the golden sea spray
They’re finally going to reveal that the main villain of the entire series is the dog with the keys. Full circle.