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Today in Shocking News You’ll Never Believe, Lindsay Lohan will no longer star as Linda Lovelace in the Linda Lovelace biopic no one thought would ever happen.  While pretending people still or ever cared about this project, “director” Matthew Wilder has announced that Malin Akerman will be taking Lindsay’s place.

Ultimately Wilder said the issue came down to “the impossibility” of insuring the actress “and some other issues.”  “We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support,” Wilding [sic] said. [HollywoodReporter]

While saying that he’d “rather not pick the scab” of Lohan’s firing, Wilder said that finding someone to provide insurance for the troubled actress “was proving a really tough obstacle.” [Perhaps even as tough as actually obtaining the rights to this story. -ed]
When asked whether Akerman had to audition to play the late porn star, Wilder replied, “Oh Lord no.” He added that he believed many moviegoers would be surprised by the “Couples Retreat” star and what he called her “strength and groundedness.” [LATimes]

Really?  Would we be surprised, Matthew?  Because at this stage, it seems like we know as much about her as you do.  To recap, back in May, there were two Lovelace biopic projects in the works.  Actually, there was one, from the guys who did Howl, until this guy Wilder announced out of the blue that he was doing one too, and the only reason anyone paid attention was that Lindsay Lohan was attached.  There was no way that was ever going to happen in the first place, but now he gets to be in the trades again with the news that he’s fired Lindsay from his mostly imaginary movie project.  And clearly his little publicity stunt has worked perfectly, because The Hollywood Reporter didn’t even bother to spell his name right.  I can’t wait for the next story three days from now when someone asks Malin Akerman about it.  “Max Wildmont?  Never heard of him.”