"Know how I know you're gay?"
Scarlett Johansson, who recently cut her hair to look like that lesbian from the workout show, is nevertheless set to play a slutty, sexy alien in an upcoming movie from Sexy Beast writer-director Jonathan Glazer. Bet he’s pissed he already used that title.
That is what FilmNation is selling at AFM, launching Under the Skin, a sci-fi drama. According to the company, “Johansson plays an alien on earth, disguised as the perfect aesthetic form of a mesmerizing woman. She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey — her voracious sexuality.”
“She is deadly efficient, but over time becomes drawn to and changed by the complexity of life on earth. With this new found humanity and weakening alien resolve, she finds herself on a collision course with her own kind. Taking her point of view throughout, the film presents a unique look at our world through alien eyes.” [THR]
So… pretty much exactly like Species, then? But hornier, and with bigger boobs? And the alien eventually decides she wants to stop killing and just concentrate on doin’ it? I admit, this is starting to sound like a really good idea.
—
In a statement, FilmNation CEO Glen Basner said, “We’re so very excited to be working on this arrestingly original movie. How could we pass up the chance to work with a visionary director like Jonathan, especially when combined with the intriguing notion of Scarlett Johansson as a ruthless alien seductress?”
Look man, I’m all for your Big T*ts Alien 3D movie or whatever it’s called, but I hope that by “arrestingly original movie”, what you meant was “you would get arrested for calling this movie original.”
"I'm tho Fierth. ROWR!"
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And the alien eventually decides she wants to stop killing and concentrate on doin’ it? Okay, I admit, this is starting to sound like a really good idea.
Maybe, but if you consider that the story of a slaughterhouse worker who becomes a furry is the exact same thing, it takes some of the luster off of it, doesn’t it?
Damn aliens. All they want to do is come here, fuck us and kill us.
Is that Justin Beiber in lipstick?
I heard Scalett Johannsson is Dan Rosen’s widow and Geroge Washingto’s mistress.
the alien eventually decides … to stop killing and just concentrate on doin’ it?
Qaplah! That’s just how we roll, Lince, just how we roll.
if there is not one single ScarJo nipple in this film I’m going to masturbate with a frown on my face, a frown!
She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey — her voracious sexuality.
Alternate title: Deadliest Snatch
Alternate title: Killer Kunts From Outer Space
This is the same concept as every single Katherine Heigl movie: Inhuman man-hating bitch gets dick, learns to be less of an inhuman man-hating bitch.
Why does she need human prey exactly? Is she hungry? She always looks hungry. Or confused.
Bah.
I saw Species at the drive in when I was a wee lad. My mom didn’t know it was her naked the whole time. That was awkward.
The Mighty Feklahr is going to sabotage the filming by making crop circles on the set that say, “TITS OR GTFO!”
She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey — her voracious sexuality.
Oh great, that’ll get all the vore-freaks out of the woodwork.
I’ll be very surprised if there isn’t already a porn spoof called Plan 69 from Outer Space.
She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey — her voracious sexuality.
This is the grittiest fucking Wile E. Coyote reboot you’ll ever see.
Sounds a lot like Six from BSG, too. Although she’s more of a robot. But still.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
A Bowie-esque The Whore Who Fell to Earth would sell to the SocialInceptionNetwork crowd. Don’t waste the moment, fuckers.
If there is no “Space Docking” I will be severely disappointed.
[www.urbandictionary.com]
I hear she kills her prey slowly and painfully, wearing their spirits down during years of petty bickering over which drawer the socks go in.
“Excuse me. Do you have any Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator? No? Ok. Let’s F***.”
A Species remake, who’s with me for a Michael Madsen cameo!?
James Cameron wants to direct Big Tits Alien 3D but only after he invents a camera that will make Scarlett Johansson actually do nudity.
Keep a caution light handy, fellas. Yellow lights make her go really fast!
Short hair on girls? Natalie Imbruglia and maybe that French chick who was found dead in her car and that’s it.
In a related story, Mary Kate Olsen has joined a joint project from Lifetime and Discovery Channel portraying a preying mantis.
lieBro: …maybe that French chick who was found dead in her car.
Princess Diana?
Wait, why haven’t I said anything about her husband yet?!
Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds Ryan Reynolds.
Skillet Johansson better be scouring the kitchen for my damn breakfast!
I was thinking Jean Seberg but Diana will do.
Nice Starman dig Fek.
QAPLAH!
Scarjo wanted a more feminine look so she got her hair cut like Justin Bieber.
I’m going to watch this one handed.
*has short hair, cries*
wasn’t you splatted by the time of her death. BOOM!
[Glances up from SJ's bewbs]
Hair? What hair?
I just hope the science behind her space travel is sound.
The Mighty Feklahr fixin’ to kayo up His nanu nanu and stick it up her shazbot, gnome sane?
*moves in for the kill*
I’d like to stare into her abyss, ifyounowhattamean.
I mean I’d like to zergling rush her nexus.
Best routine featuring Princess Diana and an inflatable ET (so kind of on topic). [comedy-quotes.com]
“Zergling Rush”? You, my good and well-reputed sir, are the living and breathing epitome of the now obsolete “Fashionable Vernacular Completionist”!
If they’re trying to come up with a reason to get me to stop picking up sexy hitchhikers, they’re going to have to come up with something better than “she lets you come inside her and then you never have to talk to her again.”
I’m making a movie about my ball sack called Under the Skin Flute.
I’m making a movie about my ball sack called Under the Skin Flute.
I hear Sebastian the Crab has a very entertaining song in that movie.
I hear Sebastian the Crab has a very entertaining song in that movie.
Darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me!
Take it all you filthy merwhore.
Yes, this IS the most original remake I’ve heard about this year.
Right along with Charlie Sheen’s remake of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Ryan Gosling once tried to remake species. His Feline Oak Tree experiement was a failure.
You guys probably missed this, but I hid a little Easter Egg in the gallery for you:
[cdn.fd.uproxx.com]
And into the “folder” folder it goes.
“slutty, sexy alien”
Pauly’s Mom: The Movie.
This fucking movie is bullshit and will have no naked tits in it. I’m a grown man and I demand naked tits and nipples in my sex alien movies. I will not be masturbating to this one.
not really. I will be in full beat-off-mode in the theater.
“blah,blah,blah, she finds true love,a man she can change, she stops having sex with him”. I know this film, I married this fucking film. Oh and she gets fat with a big fat ass. The End.