Who says these have to be mutually exclusive?
Jodie Foster’s Beaver may not open wide in the U.S. (which is a travesty of sapphic epic proportions), but things are looking up:
Digital Spy noticed that the film has been given a release date in the U.K., and it’s surprisingly soon: it will open on February 11th, against Black Swan, Just Go With It, No Strings Attached, and Yogi Bear. It’s being distributed by Icon, the British/Australian distributor founded and owned by Gibson himself—it obviously helps if the disgraced star of your latest movie also owns the company releasing it. [ThePlaylist]
Releasing the weekend before Valentine’s Day? Because nothing says romance like Mel Gibson working out his issues with a therapy puppet. I’m getting all hot just thinking about it. Oh man, I hope this gets a full release (heh heh) in the US at the same time, so I can buy my Valentine a ticket to this and a box of chocolates (in that order) and put them with a note that says, “You should just smile and blow me.” I find the earnest sentiments are always the most effective.
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A word of warning to our UK commenters planning to go see this film – don’t order a pack of black licorice from the concession stand, you’ll get raped. They’re cheaper at a grocery store.
The Mighty Feklahr is certain the sequel will a secondary puppet, a small aardvark dressed as a rabbi that has a Dusterbuster cleverly inserted to suck up the coins of street performers:
Oy vey, play some Skynard! Mazel tov! *WHOOOOOSH!* *maniacal cackling*
My mom says I see things differently than a lot of people.
In the “threequel”, one hand features an array of dark colored wolves as finger puppets. They break into large aquariums and forcibly fingerblast dolphins.
BRAAAAHM! I’m so meta!
Bah!
the sequel will *feature a secondary puppet
That movie will never go over in Europe, not after what Mel Gibson said about… oh, you mean real Europe? Not the fairy-tale land that douchebag hipsters wish America could be more like, despite having never set foot outside of Brooklyn? Yeah, in real Europe Mel Gibson will do just fine.
luckily, it will be on torrents even with a UK only release.
This is too high brow for us Americans, we wont appreciate it without european sensibilities like ze germans with their scheisse porn.
My girlfriend wants to go to the midnight showing of Skyline. Should i stop seeing her?
Well, you should definitely stop LISTENING to her.
which is a travesty of
sapphicepic proportionsYou still won’t name yourself CoTW winner, but this is worthy.
Look closer, Donk. This one is righteous!
It’ll be a shame when The Beaver gets cornholed by Yogi Bear. And won’t Boo Boo be jealous?!?
But watching a movie with a guy’s fist up a beaver is what I did last Valentine’s Day.
HEY CHEEKY BIRD!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR BABS LOOK STUPID!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE YOU GET ROGERED BY A PACK OF N*GGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You still won’t name yourself CoTW winner, but this is worthy.
Ha ha, you think I’m Vince.
*adjusts Luke Walton mask, hops into IROC*
That really DOES have to be in production somewhere: valentines day cards with Mel’s picture and that quote. If not, I need to make one. Heck, Why not do one for every Holiday?
“The jews are responsible for all the evils of the world, and this holiday. Happy Easter.”
“Happy Valentines day. You look like a f******* pig in heat.”
“I hope you get raped by a pack of elves.”
“Happy Birthday. You should shut up and blow me, because I deserve it, Grandma.”
Valentine’s Day with Mel:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your tits look stupid
And so do your shoes.
Dude, I hear you (the dude who wrote the blog).
Similar sentiments I wrote about on mine: [joesflics.blogspot.com]