"Hi there. ...Ya whackin' it?"

Back in my day, if a man wanted to play the popcorn trick on himself during a screening of a children’s film about boy wizards, that was a man’s right.  He wasn’t hurting anybody.  That was what we called “the pursuit of happiness.”  Well not in Obama’s America.  The Nanny State wants the government to control everything — Four Loko, McDonald’s Happy Meals, and now, it seems, your wiener.

At approximately 1:10pm, the Bluffton [South Carolina] Police Department responded to Sea Turtle Cinemas, [responding to a 911 call about] an individual that was exposing himself in the movie theater.

When officers arrived, they were directed by theater employees to a projection booth, which was playing a Harry Potter movie.  From this location, they were able to look into the back row and observe a white male touching his exposed genitals. Officers then entered the theater and identified the suspect as Alexander Ofner, 39.  Ofner was arrested for Indecent Exposure and transported to the Beaufort County Detention Center to await bond hearing. [Police Report via TSG]

Wow, dodged another bullet there, eh, Florida?  Anyway, I don’t see what the problem was.  I mean, he sat in the back row.  If you ask me, this sounds like a second amendment issue more than anything else.