Those are his dog tags from The Battle of Mervyn's
Kevin Smith always seemed like a cool dude, but I sort of stopped keeping up with him after he started getting in Twitter fights with random bloggers every day that would have me reading through his 600 Tweets in the previous hour to figure out what had happened only to realize I didn’t care. Nonetheless, Smith announced on one of his 18 podcasts yesterday that he has cast Nicholas Braun as the lead in his hockey movie, Hit Somebody (which once was set to involve Stifler).
If you don’t know who Nicholas Braun is, it’s probably because you never saw the Disney Channel original, Princess Protection Program. For his part, Smith says he’s great. Hit Somebody is a hockey comedy based on the Warren Zevon song and co-written by the song’s co-writer, Mitch Alborn. Not to be confused with a competing hockey goon movie, Goon, from Jay Baruchel and Evan Goldberg. I haven’t read either, but according to a friend who read Goon and enjoyed it, “they’re almost the exact same story.” Smith is set to take Red State to Sundance in January, but if Goon gets to screens earlier, who knows what will happen with Hit Somebody. Whatever happens, at least this much is certain: Kevin Smith will tweet about it. Probably in conjunction with a 37-part web series involving jorts.
Assuming it does happen, Braun is set to play Buddy McCracken, “a hockey player who discovers a gift for violence.” Call me crazy, but Captain Disney Channel over here doesn’t exactly strike me as a hockey enforcer. He seems more like the kind of guy who’d get called for a high scarf. But what do I know, I’m not even Canadian. I just wish Warren Zevon was alive today to write a song about Kevin Smith. Which, again, would likely involve jorts.
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He looks as likely to punch somebody in the balls from behind as Sidney Crosby though.
Glenn Sather has already offered him 7 years at $2.5 million per to bring some grit to the Rangers.
o/` Stay away from him / He’ll Tweet your lungs out, Jim! / I’d like to score his trailer o/`
The Run-of-the-mill Fecklar would studiously opine that it would be more like “Phil McCracken”, if he could be bothered to look up from the Life section of USA Today.
Brian Burke won’t see this because this kid reminds him too much of his son.
that’s kid is 6’6″… i didn’t know they stacked gay that high
Being a Devils fan, Kevin Smith signed Braun to a ten-picture, $100 million deal that will all but cripple his ability to put together a quality movie and may cause him to lose out on keeping younger and better players.
Kevin Smith should hire a diet enforcer.
*bowtie spins, throws octopus at Donk*
BTK, if you’re not a hockey fan, you’re missing out. These jokes are
goldendecent…fuck you.
Donkey Hodey, The Adequate Fecklar is really into “Sesame Street On Ice”, is that similar?
Nick Braun got the role because one of his references described him as “an excitable boy”.
the illusion of Hollywood is so complete … putting caterpillars on KD Lang’s eyebrows makes her look even more butch! But can she take a winger into the glass? We’ll see…
@Donk, I could say the same thing about the Warren Zevon jokes.
Ah, Hockey. The only sport where the participants have more fingers than teeth.
The Adequate Fecklar is really into “Sesame Street On Ice”, is that similar?
Only if you’re a Flames fan.
I’m sorry, Donk, but the correct burn there was “Blues fan.” We were looking for “Blues fan.”
The first time Kevin Smith told him to aim for the five-hole, Nick Braun asked if he should take his fist out first.
Why’s that kid lying in my aquarium?
I didn’t realize it until now but I actually was looking forward to seeing Stiffler in this… weird.
Also I used to really like Kevin Smith until I listened to his podcasts and I realized he’s that friend you have that is so over-the-top into something that you like, but is such a breathless geek about it that you actually start disliking the thing you’re both into.
Yup- that made sense.
/shows self out.
The Blues are more like Dora the Explorer on Ice, Burnsy. They’re looking for something and skate around aimlessly looking for it while playing grab-ass.
Also, you desperately want to see them get hate-fucked.
Don Cherry is going to make a cameo in this, so the costume director is looking for anybody who has a couch from the 70s that’s still in good condition who’s willing to entertain the thought of selling it for the upholstery.
The only time in his life this kid ever spent two minutes in a box was at his birth.
I’m gonna ruin this thread like Jacques Lemaire ruined the rush through the neutral zone.
Kevin Smith had a run in with Southwest Airlines? Why haven’t I heard of this?????
Godammit, I’m late to a hockey thread. Let’s see, let’s see, uhhhh… “This kids looks like he’s seen a “high stick” or two” (nudge-nudge-wink-wink-saynomore)
(fuck.)
This kid looks more suited for a field hockey movie. (Even then I wouldn’t believe him as the tough guy.)
Smith wrote this movie for Seam William Scott, who subsequently dumped Smiths’ movie to star in GOON.
And tha tthing about the tweefs is true. I had to unfollow him at one point because I was sicjk of wading through his 170 tweefs a day.
But the Tweets about eating out his wife’s butt are sooooo rewarding, Cash.