Warner Brothers recently announced that it will reboot Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the big screen, and that could possibly be cool if they did it right and I’m not going to waste anyone’s time – they’re not going to do it right. WB will move ahead on a new Buffy without Joss Whedon, who wrote the original 1992 movie and directed the TV series. Presumably nobody from the original movie or TV show will be involved, which is unfortunate because David Arquette is really looking for attention right now.
Writing this new version is actress Whit Anderson, and you may be asking, “Hey Burnsy, how did you get so handsome and who the F is Whit Anderson?” And my answers are noneyabiz and she’s someone whose IMDb credits include two short films and the role of “Yes Patron” in Yes Man. But she loved Buffy as a kid, so it’s totally going to be, like, totally OMG fine.
So what say you, Mr. Whedon, on this resurrection and slap in the face? (Via E! Online)
“This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths—just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.”
I’ve never had two thoughts of an opinion about Joss, but just that initial response alone makes me want to buy the guy a Purple Haze and pose for funny Facebook photos with him. More of Whedon’s delightfully humorous response, as well as a look back at the faces (then and now) of this vampire franchise that paved the way for Twihards and their diabetes, after the jump…
“Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?
“I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.” (Via E! Online)
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Anyone wearing UGGs should reboot.
I meant ONLY people wearing UGGs should reboot. Damn you Whedon and your distracting Fillion casting.
*sigh
Yeah, nothing says “original” like vampire stories, protagonists falling in love with a “forbidden” or “evil” person, and writing comics and movie scripts based on characters that have been around for 40 years.
Bram Stoker thinks Joss Whedon should stop being such a pussy.
Jesus, slide #2 – I had no idea Whedon was starring as the villain in the new Green Lantern movie.
I knew this wasn’t written by Vince the second I read “that could possibly be cool if they did it right.” Instant red flag.
Ah yes, Charisma Carpenter! How could
my penisI forgetJoss Whedon has to take the high road because his forehead won’t fit under the overpass.
Just as long as lady writer goes heavy on the Willow.
had to do a follow up google images search for charisma carpenter.. she has surprisingly large/dark
nippleseyes!damn you glenn beck and your charisma carpenter strike through comment! you know how long it took me to do that? like 10 seconds man
Well, Joss can take solace in the fact that Twihards won’t have him to blame for stealing the Vampire idea when the new movie releases.
Whedon is kind of an egotistical dong and Buffy is overrated.
That said, well played, Whedon.
(And I do love Firefly.)
@Dumplin, coincidentally it takes me about 10 seconds to fully appreciate Charisma Carpenter
They really need to put a “In Memory of Luke Perry” dedication at the beginning of the film. It’s just the right thing to do
They’re going to Twillight the hell out of this, aren’t they? Because that’s popular today, right, the Twillight?
*klingonoff*
I don’t get this dogmatic blind loyalty some people seem to have for Whedon. For instance, this guy I game with has been gay for the Avengers movie for over a year simply because Whedon’s name is attached to it.
And why? What does The Avengers movie actually have to offer? Here is the short list:
The Hulk-going on a SECOND reboot in less than a decade. (FAIL.)
Pseudo-steampunk Captain America and all of the counter-culture-style-fail associated with it.
A Thor movie that looks like the only thing it is missing is Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze.
And last, but not least, RDJ and Iron Man. And let me tell you, this isn’t as solid of a cornerstone as it looks. The first Iron Man movie only worked because it was a welcome departure from the gritty Batman films AND RDJ got to make a triumphant “comeback performance” and really stuck the landing. It made THAT movie go. Iron Man 2? What a fucking shitbomb. Synopsis of Iron Man 2: “More Iron Man 1 but less actual performing from the talent and more plugs for future Marvel movies you fanboys are suckers thanks for the ten bucks go fuck yourself.”
And now *I* am supposed to be all hawt for the Avengers (a shitty, boring comic on its BEST DAY) just because a bunch of closet losers are soaking their panties for Buffy nostalgia? FUCK THAT.
*/klingonoff*
JOSH Whedon! JOSH! JOSH Whedon! DOR SHO GHA! BONG!!!!!!!!!!
Wes Anderson’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer would have rocked. Sure Jason Schwartzman will look funny in a blonde wig, but Bill Murray will kill as Giles.
Christ, I thought that was YOUR addition to his quote. Joss is awesome.
I wonder how many people will stumble upon this post because of the ‘Kristy Swanson’ tag.
Other than me, I mean.
In the queue, a Nosferatu reboot. Vin Diesel plays a bald douche with fangs and body glitter.
“she’s someone whose IMDb credits include two short films and the role of “Yes Patron” in Yes Man. But she loved Buffy as a kid, so it’s totally going to be, like, totally OMG fine.”
Whit a.k.a. Whitney Anderson is 29 years old and the only writing credit I can find for her online is THE SISTER, a short film she co-wrote, directed and stars in.
You may know her as Gaia in ZOMBIE STRIPPERS! or Kim’s Friend on VERONICA MARS — [www.imdb.com]
All that to say — I’m sure her take on Buffy will be fresh and highly enjoyable ::dismissive wanking motion::
Whedon shouldn’t worry as much as slaying vamps as much as slaying tail. Huh? Am I right? Come on, Joss; my hands feeling like a black with you leaving it hanging!
His response almost made me forget about Dollhouse. Almost.