Now I realize this is going to sound farfetched, but apparently there’s more than just a few ways to burn through a large amount of money very quickly: purchasing excess amounts of black tar heroin, investing poorly in a sh**ty rapper’s vodka company, cramming all that money up a body cavity -or, if you happen to reside in Hollywood, you can always just grossly overpay the star of your next big (supposed) blockbuster. Yeah, that’s also a great way to get rid of a bunch of cash -but just how much money constitutes a bunch? Well, in an apparent attempt to answer that question (and inspire mass suicides everywhere) Forbes just released their 2010 list of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors. You know, just to really help put into perspective how truly underpaid you are at your day job. And just to lay any rumors to rest, neither Nic Cage or Billy Zane made the list this year, sorry.
To formulate their list, Forbes first started with the 36 highest-earning actors from Hollywood. To qualify, during the past five years, each actor would have to have starred in, at least, three films that opened in more than 500 theaters. After this initial categorization, they then began to factor in various other details like penis length and bench press ability.
We used data gathered for our annual Celebrity 100 list to calculate each star’s estimated earnings on each film (including up-front pay and any earnings from the movie’s box-office receipts, DVD and TV sales). We then looked at each movie’s estimated budget [...] and box-office, DVD and television earnings to figure out an operating income for each film.
We added up each star’s compensation on his or her last three films and the operating income on those films, an divided total operating income by the star’s total compensation to come up with a return-on-investment number. The final number represents an average of how much a studio earns for every dollar paid.
Forbes fails to mention how many interns bludgeoned themselves to death with graphing calculators, during the research, but I can only assume the final count was north of ten.
Top 10 Overpaid Actors after the cut.
1. Will Ferrell:
For every $1 Ferrell was paid, his films earned an average $3.35.2. Eddie Murphy:
For every $1 Murphy gets paid, his films earn an average $4.45.3. Denzel Washington:
For every $1 Washington earned, his films returned an average $5.10.4. Seth Rogan:
For every $1 Rogen was paid, his movies earned $6.75.5. Tom Cruise:
For every $1 Cruise was paid, his films earned an average $7.20.6. Drew Barrymore:
For every $1 Barrymore was paid, her films earned an average $7.45.7. MATT DAMON:
Until he has another big hit, for every $1 Damon gets paid, his films earn an average $8.30.8. Vince Vaughn:
For every $1 Vaughn was paid, his films earned $8.35.9. Adam Sandler:
For every $1 Sandler was paid, his films earned an average $8.45.10. Jim Carrey:
For every $1 Carrey was paid, his films earned $8.60.
Hat tip, once again, to Forbes for the assist.
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For every 20 aluminum cans I collect, I get a dollar. Those recycling companies don’t know how much I’m ripping them off.
For every 1$ Mel Gibson was paid, your tits look stupid.
Also, I incorrectly place my dollar signs because I’m not a Jew.
[Crappy draws near wearing a bloodied butchers smock, hands in pockets, he clears his throat]
MMMMAAAAAAT DAAAAMMMMOOOONNNN!!!
/Obligatory
Forbes calculates that for every dollar Kevin James is paid, his films earn $12.75. But they didn’t factor in the cost of the custom built bariatric joist lift to get him in and out of the bed in his trailer. Nor did they address his twice daily marinara baths. Typical Hollywood accounting.
When Brendan Fraser read this list he laughed in a forced, maniacal manner, clapped once, and then pointed at nothing in particular.
“Overpaid” being a subjective term here, apparently. I wouldn’t mind getting $16.75 worth of blow job for every fiver I pay your mom.
Meh, the only time The Mighty Feklahr can get a 3 to 1 return is when He cuts that shit He sells to junior high kids with Comet.
For every $1 Ryan Gosling gets paid a frozen cat-angel gets its wings
So is that why Denzel is widely known as “Mr. $5 Footlong”?
For a piece of that action, I’d even try getting to know him widely. To wit, no homo.
Hey Matt, here’s a hint. Stay away from Pual Greengrass migraine cam action turds, sappy we are the world sports abortions, and good but imposible to sell satire projects. Wait, or don’t, fuck him, you know how much coin that little prick is turning?
Dick.
For every $1 David Spade gets paid, Chris Farley eats a fried angel’s wing dipped in ranch dressing.
Jim Carey is still making movies?
Shouldn’t Lea Thompson have made this list for Howard the Duck and Spacecamp alone?
For every $1 Gary Busey gets paid he thanks you for the change you can spare.
Katherine Heigl isn’t on this list? Nothing she does merits the amount of money she makes.
Also, she looks like Admiral Akbar in a blonde wig.
For every $1 Murphy gets paid, his films earn an average $4.45.
However, we will continue to rehabilitate the criminally underappreciated Norbit until that number climbs north of $5.
/Armond White-ed
For every $1 Gabourey Sidibe gets paid, a grill worker is forced to prepare another KFC Snacker.
…Link and Max, freeeeiiinnnnnds…
For every $1 Mel Gibson gets paid some dirty Jew gets $.23.
Drew Barrymore is the only woman on that list and she’s got a bigger dick than four of them.
For every $1 Christian Bale gets paid, I am entertained.
For every $1 Charles Bronson gets paid, a five year old hillbilly gets its Red Wings…
For less than $1 a day, the kids from ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ can get all the basic necessities you take for granted; water, clothes, hot food, a chance to live.
For every $1 Keanu is paid, he has to earn another 4 cause Odwallah is expensive as Hell.
For every $1 that Channing Tatum makes, dat’s just anuthu dolla dolla bill, y’all, sheeeeeee. He just chip stackin’ an’ stayin’ blackin’, pimpin, fo real.
For every $1 Matthew McConaughney makes he smokes $3 of weed.
For every dollar Charlie Sheen gets paid, a hooker has a bad night.
For every $1 FilmDrunk nets, Vince charges $100 worth of 4 Loko to the Uproxx corporate Amex card.
For every $1 Ratner makes, 40¢ is devoted solely to Cheetoh™ stain removal.
For every dollar Tom Cruise gets paid, Xenu eats a thetan*.
*Quite possibly true.
For every $1 Skeet Ulrich is paid, his 2003 Celica gets that much closer to free and clear, bitches.
For every dollar Jim Carrey is paid, a baby dies of Whooping Cough.
For every movie Armond White loves the studios make 3 more shitty ones.
For every $1 Dax Shepard makes, are you serious?
For every $1 Jeffrey Jones gets paid, chloroform-Sunny D is served.
would (steve) forbes magazine ever do a “most overpaid CEO’s” list? seems to me it might be more apropros. or this is just another swipe at the ‘leftist, marxist, nazist, hollyweird.
For every $1 I get paid, that’s 1 more nice night for yo’ momma.