FilmDrunk-TShirt

Well, folks, it’s Comments of the Week time again, and the winner gets a shirt.  It’s sad that we have to do it this way on the internet, instead of getting some busty babes from the local junior college to shoot them at your face with a bazooka, but c’est la vie.  Even if you’re not the winner, you can still cover your fleshy torso, so long as you show papa the money.  Buy one for yourself and your shirtless neighbor here. In addition, I’m giving away a VHS copy of Brain Bludgeon to the first person who emails me (thanks, Uncle Evan).  FilmDrunk_Shirt_girls_[now closed -- congrats, Mick].

Okay, okay, enough foreplay.  So I’d love to reward a newbie, but I can’t deny salty veteran Donkey Hodey, who gave me the biggest laugh this week in Baby Goose Bangs Dead Cats Against Trees:

Donkey Hodey says: At the heart of things, what Gosling was really doing was playing the world’s simplest violin.

You complete me, Mr. Hodey, now send me your shirt size. And now for the HONORABLE MENTIONS:

From Antoine Dogson, the topically-costumed boxer dog, climbs in the internet’s window:

Morning Zoo says: I haven’t seen a boxer that ghetto since Mike Tyson pigeon-clapped “Pack of Newports” in perfect Morse Code to a surly Korean grocer.
……
[shuffles papers]
Yorba Linda checkin’ in at 62 degrees.

I love you, Morning Zoo.

From Top Gun 2 Will be About Guys Playing Videogames:

Larry says:
This time, the heroes spill coffee on themselves.
/Want some Cool Ranch Doritos?
//Negative Ghostrider, my tummy is full.

Donkey Hodey solves The Mystery of the 1928 Cell Phone:

Donkey Hodey says: Back then, you weren’t allowed to sell Blackberries in the same stores as other phones.

From Porn Star Bree Olson is the Real-Life Marla Singer:

Chino Moreno says: Jenna Jameson’s tweets are more like quacks.

From Justin Bieber Gets Called for Traveling:

Stinky Peet says:
 Every time Beiber tries to take it to the hole, it’s nothing but a sad litany of pump fakes and poor ball handling.

See?  Stars are just like us.

From Naked Screaming Hooker Found in Charlie Sheen’s Closet:

Jacktion! says: Charlie got a black hooker pregnant, and she named the baby Afro Sheen.

From John Landis Says Inception Was Not Original:

Jacktion! says: Seriously, he came back from the dead just to bash Inception?
Get over yourself, dude. SeaQuest sucked.

Get it?  John Landis, not Jonathan Brandis.  Jon Brandis jokes are kind of a “thing” around here.

From Haha, Good Story, Ryan Gosling:

Ace Rimmer says: Hey girl, I’m just helping Puss find his roots.
Hey girl, would you like to hear a cat bark?

From Summit Announces Step Up 4Ever:

Channing-Tatum-nuclear-apocalypse

Burnsy says: I can’t believe you found his driver’s license.

And finally, from Some Pencil Wiener Tries to Rape Kristen Stewart in the Back P*ssy:

Chino Moreno says: The guy just wanted a #2 pencil d*ck.

Thanks, guys.  You are exactly what I need/deserve.