13 vs. The Mechanic: Who Statham’d It Better?

The international trailer for The Mechanic, starring Jason Statham in a remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson film, hit yesterday.  I wasn’t going to post it, because I thought I

Said The Stath, when reached for comment, “Lately it seems loike Da Stafe is so busy, Oy ‘ardly ‘ave toime for knobbin’ fit birds!  Oy’s kiddin.  A course Oy’s knobbin birds.  Roight.  So in dis fiwm, dey caw Da Stafe ‘da mechanic,’ probably cos Oy’s always fixin’ fings. An also cos Oy’s always frowin a big fockin bloody wrench inta conts’ plans, now isn’ Oy.  When dey asked me ta do it, oy fought ta meself, ‘Oy. Stafe. Oo bettah ta troy an’ emulate den Mistah Chahles Bronson, da cont oo wiz knobbin’ birds an’ chewin’ da gyppo at age foive?‘  Da ovva fing dat appeawed ta me about it wiz dat dey told me Oy’d get ta stab some puntah inda leg wiff a speah, somefin’ Oy ‘as been on about since da Transporterah paht free.  So Oy told ‘em Da Stafe would do it, so long as oy got ta say,  ‘An dis toim… it’s personal, innit.’  Pretty flash, hey?  Da Stafe is a pushovah when it comes to clevah doyalogue.”

To complicate matters further, the trailer for 13 also hit today, and that stars Statham opposite Ray Winstone, Mickey Rourke, and 50 Cent, in a film about competitive Russian roulette.  …Yeah.

So if you saw The Expendables and thought, “That was great, but I think it could use a few more mumbly hardasses and a sh*ttier plot,” well then this is the movie for you. 
[via Screenjunkies, FirstShowing]