This isn’t the first time I’ve told you about Teddy Bear, Seth MacFarlane’s $65 million,
Mark Wahlberg — of all people — is considering the lead role in Seth MacFarlane’s Teddy Bear, a comedy about a 33 year old man whose Teddy Bear comes to life and poses problems for him as an adult when it gets in the way of a relationship with his girlfriend. The Teddy Bear is described as something that, I sh*t you not, likes to party, pick up women, smoke pot, and play video games. Note, too, that there are roles in the movie for a racist homosexual, a woman obsessed with talking about men shaving their assh*les, and a “Jewish-looking” person who makes anti-Semitic remarks. In other words: Typical MacFarlane.
“Teddy Bear”? Why not just “Drop Dead Ted”? Seems like the obvious choice. Anyway, if you’re in the market for a racist homosexual, there’s always Liam Neeson. That fruit cake’s always spouting off about how much he hates N-words. It’s always “n-word this,” and “n-word that.” It’s like, jeez, Neeson, give it a rest, did you not get enough c*ck or something?
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Yeah but did you see when he did the Stewie voice at the Hasselhoff roast? Epic, man. Ep. Ic.
More like brown-eyeing the perverted teddy bear, amirite?
…
Prosthetic dong!
Brendan Fraser is simultaneously glad and a little listful that nobody remembers ‘Monkeybone’.
BTK… Pah-Gee-bah.
*ducks*
So…they added Pedobear to Entourage?
Thanks for the doublepost spasm, Uproxx.
How has Fox not turned this into 14 shows?
Seth MacFarlane is doing the voice of Wahlberg’s third nipple, right?
Turtle is going to be the bear, right?
His girlfriend just couldn’t take the bear’s creepy giggling while she was trying to do the laundry.
In response to the casting call for a racist homosexual, GLAAD and the NAACP have joined forces to form a super-counsel:
For All Groups to Gang up On This Nonsensical Idiocy Gaining Ground Everywhere Relevant
… on a serious note… I read all of those descriptions and its just like… OH WOW CONGRATS FOR ALL THOSE SEEMINGLY CRAAAAAAAZY THINGS!
how could a gay guy ever be racist? doesn’t he like all things fluffy and tolerant?
A woman? talking about shaving assholes? don’t girls wear pretty dresses and not talk about sex?
An anti-semitic person that looks jewish? talk about awkward
Oh shit, just remembered I have to pick up the kerosene for the rally tonight. Later, folks!
*puts on hood, rides off on horse*
That bear gets between Marky Mark and his girlfriend and he’s crazy? Must be a bi-polar bear.
MacFarlane will immediately start production on two more movies spun off of minor characters from the first. Then will come two spinoffs of each of those, multiplying like soul-crushingly unfunny Mogwi, until the world is consumed in a swirling black vortex of mediocrity.
MacFarlane and a cadre of his best writers are currently hunkered down in an undisclosed location, working around the clock to figure how, HOW they can somehow tie in Star Wars.
Steven Seagal as Quagmire or GTFO
…there are roles in the movie for a racist homosexual, a woman obsessed with talking about men shaving their assh*les, and a “Jewish-looking” person who makes anti-Semitic remarks.
Jonah Hill would like to know if he can audition for all three roles at once.
WHOA WHOA WHOA…I just saw this on the side as an advertisement, lol whut?
[purecountry2thegift.warnerbros.com]
Ten bucks says at some point, the bear says to Wahlberg “Oh please, I’ve seen you masturbate more times than a priest at an all-boys youth retreat.”
HEY, SUGARTITS!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOW OFF THAT YANK AND HIS TEDDY AND BLOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!! FEEL IT, FEEL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Hey Seth! The ‘intolerant of homosexuals’ gay character played by Willem Dafoe in Boondock Saints called……he said you’re a fag!”
I have been so confused reading the comments and wondering why everybody was getting on the guy that did Spawn for ripping off The Simpsons.
Either I’m really not sleeping enough or I smoked too much pot last night. You make the call.
*Sees Burnsy’s Fox comment, hears tune to Final Countdown rising on the speakers*
“It was a mi-nor DIIIICKK STEEEPPPPPPP!!”
*Doodle-ooh-doo…….Doodle-ooh-doo-doo……..*
The first time Tom Hardy watched the Marky Mark workout video was when he realized he was gay
Bear poops in the woods joke or gtfo.
To be honest I think Wahlberg is better suited for the role of the racist homosexual since he seems to really hate white people
If Boyz In Da Hood had been about pirates, it would have had a “Hard Arrrrrrrrrr” rating.
*Punches self in cock*
Are you sure they’re not aiming for a “hahd ah” rating? PAHW!
This sounds sort of like Wilfred and Entourage thrown in a blender. And not one of those cool, Will-it-blend, Blendtec blenders. One of those shitty ones you should have thrown away a long time ago, but now only use for ridiculous jokes.
Reminds me of an Australian show we have down here called Alfred.
Guy is dating a girl whos dog always wants to get in the way and sits around smoking and drinking all day.
Show was probably funnier then all of the cut away Family guy jokes