At a time when thousands of African children are dying every day from Bieber fever, Paramount has irresponsibly decided to release the trailer for the 3D film about his life and work. Never Say Never combines home movies with backstage, concert, and interview footage to tell the story of how, through hard work and dedication, this charmed-life 16-year-old was able to succeed against the enormous odds stacked against him, and become a world-famous pop star before he reached puberty. From the title cards:
THEY SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN…
THEY SAID HE WOULD NEVER MAKE IT…
BUT YOU NEVER STOPPED BELIEVING…
The kid’s been famous since he was 14. Who is this ‘They’? And where does he get off saying “never?” At 16, I sometimes worried I’d “never” get pubes. Now look at me. It’s like I sat on a chow dog’s head.
Sidenote: Why is Jaden Smith in this? If he was there to teach J-Beebz basketball, it was a complete failure:
TRAVELING! THAT’S TRAVELING! EVEN POP STARS HAVE TO DRIBBLE, MOTHERF*CKER!
Never Say Never opens nationwide on Valentine’s Day. I’m totally taking my girlfriend. (She’s 14).
I want more like this!
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