Here’s the trailer for The Tempest, from director Julie Taymor (the U2 Spider-Man musical chick). It stars Helen Mirren, Russell Brand, and Djimon Hounsou. The visuals look neat-ish, but I feel the same way about this as I do virtually all modern Shakespeare adaptations: Oh boy, I can’t wait to watch a bunch of half-bright actors show us how cultured they are by angrily spewing dialog they don’t understand. I did enjoy the “SORCERY” title card though. And hey, did it just turn into an episode of Renegade at the end there?
David O. Russell drops out of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. A scheduling conflict with Pride producer Natalie Portman meant Russell had to drop out and do Old St. Louis instead, a dramedy starring Vince Vaughn that Scarlett Johansson was supposed to be in at one point (not now). And now, I find myself in the awkward position of being enough of a hipster to like David O. Russell, but not nearly twee enough to not hate Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. So, uh, good news, as it turns out. (*tightens ascot, rides off on fixed gear*)|NYMag|
Screenwriter Tony Gilroy taking over directing duties on the fourth Bourne movie, the Bourne Legacy. Matt Damon’s involvement is still up in the air. BLUR! SMASH CUT! (*fart noise*) GAS PEDAL! ENGINE NOISE! TIRE SQUEAL! (*dismissive wank*) SMASH CUT! ZOOM! (*zzzzzzzz*) |Deadline|
Mark Millar says his ultra-violent, evil-batman comic book, Nemesis, has been greenlit with director Tony Scott and a $150 million budget. In related news, Mark Millar is talking out his ass again. |io9|
Peter Jackson is “close to a deal” to direct The Hobbit movies, and Deadline and TheWrap are going all dueling ‘TOLJDAs’ about it. Of course, MGM is still $4 billion in debt and the film hasn’t been greenlit yet. Expect at least three more rounds of denials and confirmations over the coming weeks. You know what? I don’t care anymore.
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“Hey Taymor! Kenneth Branagh’s tits or GTFO!!”
*Hits her in the head with an empty beer can from a moving pickup*
Titus was dope, though.
Not even three dogs on fire can out-flame Alan Cumming.
Djimon Hounsou reciting Shakespeare?
They better have subtitles on this mofo.
Clash of the Titus.
“RELEASETH THE KRAKEN!!!”
*Jessica Lange rises from the sea, snapping her claws wildly in the air*
A nearsighted hipster will be easy to spot at a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies screening. He’ll be the one watching the movie (and everything else) through an antique brass collapsible spyglass, because putting some goddamn lenses in his lensless vintage eyewear would be too mainstream.
I’d rather go on a cable-car ride with Gabriela Cedillo than watch The Tempest.
Seriously, who keeps giving Julie Taymor funding?
Renegade, FUCK YEAH! *Revs motorcycle and rides off into the sunset; leather tassels on vest and long mane of hair flowing in the wind* (whoa that got pretty gay)
Unless, of course, there’s a scene where Helen Mirren raises her staff and yells:
“YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS! Your English Literature exam!”
I’ve gotta say i prefer my shakespeare adaptations with large doses of anthropomorphic robots, space monsters and Leslie Nielsen. Thats the amurkan way.
I”m unabashedly optimistic about The Tempest.
Still waiting for A Midsummer Night’s Dream starring Sarah Jessica Parker as Bottom… Get it? Because she physically resembles an odd-toed ungulate…
If “The Tempest” was really gonna go all-”Renegade”-y, Lorenzo Lamas would have appeared out of nowhere in a cloud of smoke, kicked the crap out of the bad guys in a highly efficient manner, and then shown that young chick the joys of womanhood before riding off across the ocean on his magical Harley steed. I’m hard just thinking about it, and not only because of Helen Mirren.
A unicorn brought me this link: [www.youtube.com]
Holy shit that looked awesome. I wish the two doofus (doofi?) were the Mighty Boosh guys though.
Oh boy, I can’t wait to watch a bunch of half-bright actors show us how cultured they are by angrily spewing dialog they don’t understand.
That’s the nicest thing anyone has said about Russell Brand since he started banging Katy Perry.
Prospero as a woman? What’s next, an adaptation of “Merchant of Venice” with Shylock as a Buddhist? Am I right? Guys? Hello?