Bruce Willis on Between Two Ferns
10.13.10Bruce Willis’ Red opens this weekend, and in support of the film, he appeared on Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis, which as an actor, is about a thousand times more fun than talking to Billy Bush, Satan’s dead-eyed gay lover. As always, ‘Fianakis asks the best questions:
- How many children do you have? Who’s your favorite, Ashton?
- When you were making The Whole Ten Yards, were you ever worried that it’d be too good?
- Are you aware that some actors turn down roles?
I have nothing to add to this. If I was Zach Galifianakis, I would pay hookers to shampoo my beard.
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Bruce looks like he’s at the end of his life and all he wants to do it get laid one last time. He has some pornographic movies and anal-nitrate…
amyl nitrate would work fine too.
[Two hands appear in one of the ferns, they spread and Crappy's face appears]
Who you talking to? Willis?
I like Bruce Willis more now because this is funny and there is absolutely no reason for him to be self-deprecating ever.
Zach: “Hey Bruce, I want to make fun of you for a few minutes.”
Bruce: *slaps ZG upside head with 9 inches of limp dick, returns to banging several models on bed of money*
What, no Willis Reed jokes?
/1970 Knicks
//Learn about sports you gay gays
What, no Triumph of the Willis joke?
/Leni Riefenstahl propaganda film
//Learn about Nazis you silly hebrews
I really wanted Galifianakis to say “That was real dick of you to put the safety on that semiautomatic you gave Samuel L. Jackson in Die Hard 3″
Bruce Willis has always had a sense of humor about himself, as anyone** who would admit to having sat through Oceans 12 could tell you.
** present commenter excluded
Armond White wants to hire Bruce Willis and Jay Cutler for his own interview show. It’ll be called Between Two Testicles
@HoHos
I’ve seen Triumph of the Willis and love that part where Bruce flies over Nuremberg like superman, casting the shadow of a cross over the town. Masterfully done…
In German it’s actually Triumph des Bruce Willis, because Germans are notoriously bad with nuance.
ZG: Are you aware that some actors turn down roles?
Willis: Arbeit über Willis.
Gabourey Sidibe never turns down a roll.
Gabourey Sidibe could probably move some rolls around and find some more rolls.
Stephen Hawking never turns down a roll around the park.