A few people this week sent me this short compilation of scenes from F.A.R.T. The Movie (which was recently dug up by the guys at FoundFootageFest), as naturally when people see a movie dedicated to farts, I’m the first person they think of. I appreciate that. Wikipedia describes the plot thusly:
F.A.R.T. the Movie, released in 1991, is about a man named Russell who is obsessed with farting. His girlfriend Heather despises farts and becomes angry with Russell because all he does is watch television and fart. She tells him that if the television turns into fart jokes, then Russell won’t even leave the house. Then one night, the television does become all about farts.
I know anyone can edit Wikipedia, but I refuse to do any research to verify if that synopsis is correct. Not because I’m lazy, but because that is the greatest plot rundown of all time, and if it’s not true it would be like finding out that there’s no such thing as God, or Corgi puppies, or farts.
As I was watching the clip, I also noticed that one of the writers listed was Drew McWeeny, a guy who runs a movie site called HitFix, who I’ve exchanged emails with on a few occasions. I asked him what the story on this flick was, because you just know there’ll be a few layers to the onion when you’re dealing with something called “F.A.R.T. The Movie”. This was what he said:
I’d been in LA for about two weeks back in 1990, and the very first job I found as a writer was working for some shady dude out of a real estate office in Eagle Rock. My writing partner and I wrote two sketches for him for $150 each. I honestly thought it had vanished and we would never hear mention of it again. I’m delighted it showed up. No. Seriously. Really.
Somehow I feel like there should be more to the story. I mean, we still don’t know what “F.A.R.T.” stands for. It’s one of history’s great mysteries. (*lights fart, sings ‘Dust in the Wind’*)


Flatulent Ass, Resist Temptation?
Ha! I just did a DVD layout for this title a few months ago. It’s out on DVD from SRS Cinema for any curious folk. Guy on the cover looks like Robert DeNiro holding a pair of monkey embryos. Great stuff!
And when television turns into fart jokes AND pussy farting, well…he’s a man in full.
Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out, Heather.
Fuck All Romulan Traitors!
Fart Armenian Rewinding Tapes…
Flexible, Adhesive Rectal Thermometer.
Freaky Anthropomorphized Rodeo Transvestites
This was eventually remade as Boys on the Side.
Floccinaucinihilipilificate Anachronistic Rhypophobes Terrified
Furries Absolutely Rape Turtles
Now, if you are on the fence with the last one, please keep in mind that Rhyopophia is the fear of defecation.
You are welcome, Filmdrunk.
Fapping Above Raping, Tentatively
Fufu’s Audible Response Technique
Friendly Androgynous Retard Tit
Moose, I fucking hate you.
MIFHY!
Who’ve I’ve? WTF Vinny?
Frotcasting Again, Return Thursday
All we are are farts in the wind…farts in the wind.
Film Ain’t Real Topical
Follow And Repeat Turden?
Erswi, let those who’ve not I’ve cast the first frot.
Faecal Anal Rectal Turd :(
Frotteurs Adore Rectal Tomfoolery
Foreign Asshole Ruining Thread!
Feeling Alone, Really Tense.
Following Animalistic Release Therapy…
*ejaculates over goat’s back*
Finally…anal rape tomorrow.
Fiercely Agitating Rectal Tumor
Filmdrunkards Are Rarely Teetotalers.
Personally, my favorite fart noise is what I like to call the “Chainsaw ripping through a ping-pong table.”
Featuring Conrad Brooks of ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space’…
Oops. I started a post with ‘F’ that wasn’t a suggestion for what ‘F.A.R.T.’ might stand for. How about this one: ‘Featuring Axelrod, Robert- and Toots!’
It’s like in my old beer ads– tastes great, less filling!
I’ve seen that one around before and just always assumed it was a piece of McDreamy’s ’80s crap filmography that I had missed. ‘Cause that definitely looks like him when men and women were in full agreement that he was the ugliest little thing that ever lived.
I prefer its off Broadway spin-off: “Q.U.E.E.F. The Musical”
Umm…Boom:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDwWNkIk9Pk
Official website: http://fartthemovie.weebly.com