“Comedian” Daniel Songer is one of the few human beings alive that can lay claim to the description “hilariously unfunny.” I feel like this may be the finest performance ever given to an invisible audience in a public park. By the way, I’m totally adding “the jack me up” dance to my repertoire. (thanks to Fellows for the tip) “So I’m out, riding my bike, and this guy comes up to me on a bike…” Best. Setup. Ever.**
MORNING LINKS
Five Entirely New Emotions the Internet Has Given Us. |Uproxx|
- Oktoberfest Begins And An iPhone Ends A Court Case. |UproxxNews|
- NFL and memes, together at last. |KSK|
- Alison Brie in a sexy magazine shoot. MAKE HER LOOK MORE LIKE ANNIE, DAMN YOU! |WarmingGlow|
- Another police department joins the pedobear scare. |GammaSquad|
- The 5 Greatest Bank Heist Masks In Hollywood History. |Clutch|
- Nine Surprisingly Sexy Mugshots. |TheSmokingJacket|
- Queen Songs We Need In Sacha Baron Cohen’s Freddie Mercury Movie. |UGO|
- The concept of hipster animals is pretty effed out, and yet I can’t resist dogs in sunglasses. |Buzzfeed|
- Five Celebrities that are Inexplicably Famous. You only named five? |UnrealityMag|
- Dumb wigger kid accidentally shoots dad’s AK inside the house. Fake? |GorillaMask|
- 25 comically oversized boobs. |HolyTaco|
- I didn’t get to see Easy A this weekend, but this guy did. |ScreenJunkies|
**MINI UPDATE: Turns out Videogum dug up this interview with the man from a while back. (*does Jack Me Up dance*)
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Now that The Town has turned out to be a good movie, I need another line from a trailer to mock. On an unrelated note, I announce “a million dollars isn’t cool. Know what’s cool?” every time I fart.
Carlos Mencia is currently stealing that guy’s material.
Weird . . . when I fart, it’s not cool at all. In fact, it kinda burns. I gotta lay off the hot sauce.
Wow. Daniel Songer. Just . . . wow.
I fear there is no keener insight into the human condition than Daniel Songer. He’s the reason I drink at work instead of bars.
“Comedian” Daniel Songer is one of the few human beings alive that can lay claim to the description “hilariously unfunny.”
“Don’t forget Burnsy” – Pepper, Wayne Jetski, your mom, etc.
Comedian Daniel Songer in studio. Catch him this weekend at Boner’s down on Sepulveda. Mornin’, Daniel.
WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH GRAPE JUICE? IT’S LIKE-
Sorry to cut you off there, Danny, but we got slow and go on the 405. Jack-knifed armament truck collided with a moped. Watch out for brake lights.
Now here’s some Switchfoot.
I made it 1:30, do I win something?
Christ, I was laughing through two minutes of that. I’d better go lie down.
This guy got 100 girlfriends? The Mighty One is sure he got at least 5. “Sausage with a little bit of rubbin’!”
I too pepper my stand up routine with “you know” because let’s face it, I don’t and you’re funnier.
Daniel Songer: comedian, entertainer, author of inspirational Christian poetry.
[www.filedby.com]
I wonder if all of his poems are poorly written thinly veiled pleas for a wife.
[www.youtube.com]
This explains alot.
[www.youtube.com]
*sings along with Songer*
“Massaaage, with a little bit of shovin’ . . . Massaaage, with a lot of lovin’”
Doesn’t Beyonce have a history of browbeating indie singers into handing over rights to their songs to her and making them her own? Watch yer back, David.
(music event of the year starts at about the 3:15 mark)
I’ll give Daniel Songer this, his name sounds like what a drunk Mr. Miyagi says to his pupil when he’s angry.
148. There are 148 of these on his youtube channel.
I have an intense craving for titties and beer.
He isn’t any worse than Dane Cook.
Did Chris Farley fake his death? This is like a Comedy Central Presents version of The Chris Farley Show.
You left my bed
I really missed you
so I jacked off
into a tissue
you know
my knowledge of chloroform
was elemetry
but now my rape hands strong
Im primed and ready
Thank you,
Daniel R. Songer