Here’s the new international trailer for Buried, a pointless, terrible piece of sh*t starring Ryan Reynolds.  I get the feeling this movie is fast becoming this year’s Slumdog Millionaire, where everyone raves about how great it is, and I rant in vain about how sloppy and sleazy and cheesy the writing is.  Buried is actually worse than Slumdog because it’s boring in addition to being full of plot holes that gape like your mother’s big, scabby hooker vagina.  It’s 90 minutes of a dude in a coffin, and there’s just no real point to it other than to prove that it could be done.  Also… did I mention that I didn’t like it very much?

Without spoiling the ending, just imagine the final scene in Million Dollar Baby where Hilary Swank’s family tell her she lost the fight (which is absurd) and make her sign away all her money to them with a pen in her mouth because she’s crippled and then go to Disneyland while she cries and kills herself.  If you thought that was powerful, realistic insight into the human condition, well then you’ll love Buried, which is like 90 minutes of the same thing.  To be fair, Ryan Reynolds does seem like a sweet boy.

"I hate your box, it's dark and smelly!"

"I hate your box, it's dark and smelly!"

The first person he calls tells him to turn his phone off vibrate to conserve the battery.  At which point he proceeds to LEAVE THE GODD*AMNED PHONE ON VIBRATE FOR THE REST OF THE GODD*AMNED MOVIE!  AAAAAARGGGHHHH!

[via TheSun]