Robert Schimmel, 1950 – 2010
09.04.10I know this isn’t strictly film-related, but I liked the guy so he’s going on my page. If you don’t like it, feel free to suck a wiener. Comedian Robert Schimmel died last night in Arizona, incredibly, due to injuries suffered in a car crash a week ago. 
Schimmel was traveling in Arizona with his 19-year-old daughter, Aliyah, who was driving at the time of the crash.
The car rolled onto the side of the freeway after she tried to avoid an oncoming collision, according to Schimmel’s spokesman Howard Bragman.
Also in the car was Schimmel’s 11-year-old son, who was not injured. His daughter is expected to make a full recovery. [AP]
I used the AP’s account of the accident because they somehow managed to make it through the entire article without referring to Schimmel as “foul-mouthed.” Thanks, you other assh*les, I can’t wait for tomorrow’s top story, ‘Breaking: Comedian Swears!’ F*ck you.
Anyway, I say “incredibly” about him dying in a car accident, because the car accident part of the story is a lot more surprising than the Robert-Schimmel-having-health-problems part of the story. He had a heart attack in 1998, was diagnosed with stage-3, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2000, and after he beat that, he found out he had cirrhosis of the liver earlier this year due to a Hepatitis-C-tainted blood transfusion he’d received in the Air Force. He was waiting for a liver transplant when he died. In conclusion, Kim Kardashian bangs black dudes for a living and makes six million dollars a year and Robert Schimmel finally succumbed to a gypsy curse. Thanks, God, great work on that one.
ADDITIONAL LISTENING: Here’s Schimmel on Adam Carolla’s podcast earlier this year. And here’s a longer appearance from October 8, 2009.

Who will voice Triumph the Insult Comic Dog now??????????
(The extra question marks mean I know they aren’t the same guy. Jokes that have to be explained are the best kind.)
Moral of the story?
Never get in a vehicle with someone named Aliyah.
First man to ever make me feel comfortable talking about having black colored shit on the conference calls at work.
sad to see him go,he was a great comic
Didn’t he leave his first wife for one of his daughter’s friends? Or is that another guy? I can’t remember.
He did. And then they got divorced when he caught her cheating on him with a neighbor.
I suppose that’s more evidence why classy and funny rarely intersect.
Now there’s an asinine observation.
“Schimmel was traveling in Arizona with his 19-year-old daughter, Aliyah, who was driving at the time of the crash.”
He was already dead when he let this happen. He just didn’t know it yet.
I suppose that’s more evidence why classy and funny rarely intersect.
How did you know there were classy people in the car she swerved to avoid?
The tragedy is that Schimmel died but essequemodeia’s comments live on. Still, more evidence that unfunny and unclassy often intersect.
I choose to mourn in Jacktion!s way–let’s honor the man the way he lived, by pointing out that Schimmel would have banged black dudes for a lot less than $6M per year.
Asinine. Ok. Why? I can think of plenty of reasons to support my observation. Without being rude, or fuck be rude, I don’t care. Help me understand why I’m wrong.
Asinine. Ok. Why? I can think of plenty of reasons to support my observation. Without being rude, or fuck be rude, I don’t care. Help me understand why I’m wrong.
Because he lived every Filmdrunkard’s dream… asshole.
I mean, if you’re going to rip the guy, rip him for being Jewish, but don’t rip him for boinking his daughter’s friends… C’mon. I want to high-5 the guy… even though he was Jewish.
Where classy and funny absolutely intersect.
I saw ‘comedian dies in crash’ and skimmed for Adam Sandler’s name, only to see Schimmel’s instead. DOUBLE ROBBED.
Great clip. Laughed through most of it, but I found myself watching Analyse That the other the night and laughed at that too, so it probably doesn’t say much for him.
Carolla reposted the Oct 8, 2009 show for those who are interested.
http://www.adamcarolla.com/ACPBlog/2010/09/04/r-i-p-robert-schimmel/
@Morton–Monocle Kitty died tragically too, when his velocipede encountered a Tin Lizzy on the thoroughfare. Thanks for reminding me you heartless bastard.
Sucks, comedians should be able to go out on their own terms. Richard Jeni’s corpse is disappoint.
Cute pic. No refutations.
Vince, I am sorely disappointed that you didn’t point out that a Hollywood director was driving the car that swerved into their lane, causing the crash.
R.I.P. Dan Rosen.
Why can’t Mencia rip off this bit?