Whatever, YOU try making a relevant Photoshop for this.

Whatever, YOU try making a relevant Photoshop for this.

Louis CK’s stand-up comedy documentary (that is, a documentary that mostly features Louis CK doing stand up), Hilarious premiered in New York last night, and while I wasn’t there, our totally undeserving son-of-a-bitch part-time video editor Oliver was.  As you might expect, Louis CK said more awesome things than could fit in one post, so we’ve got half here and half over at Asylum.  Probably most timely was CK’s take on appearing on the Tonight Show with Bristol Palin just a day after calling her mother a “f*cking jackoff c*nt face jazzy wondergirl,” as well as opining, “I want to rub my father’s c*ck all over Sarah Palin’s fat tits” on Twitter.

I went to The Tonight Show and the other guest is Bristol Palin, [Sarah Palin’s] daughter. It was weird because when you’re confronted with an actual human being, it’s different… she walked towards me, and we’re on Television and I didn’t put my hand out because I didn’t know if she had read [the tweets]… I watched the side of her head as she talked to Jay Leno and that was weird. It was weird anyway without my tweeting. It was weird to sit next to Hitler’s daughter, who is famous for having a baby too early in her life…She was really scared [about being on the show]. She’s just a f-ckin’ person she’s not a celebrity….so I said to her, “Hey, you did a good job, that’s not easy” and she said “Thank you I really appreciate that” and then when she danced she asked me to dance with them. So I kinda stood there while they danced. It was weird… I won’t forget it.

Aw, that’s neat, I guess.  Louis CK remains quotable as always, but… I don’t know.  I guess I was hoping for something a little… juicier.  Like Sarah Palin’s fat tits, or my father’s c*ck.   More of the Q & A after the jump.

On his evolution as a comedian:
I’ve just grown up I think. I used to just try to be funny, so I’d think of things to talk about and a lot of them were just stale dry subjects and I’d try to apply some cleverness… But that was important; the stuff that I did early taught me how to forge material. And then I grew up and had a f*cked up life and was given things to talk about.

On having his FX Show Louis renewed for a second season
They said we’re doing another season and I was like “Are you high?”

On naming his latest standup movie Hilarious
I’ll own it, it’s funny, f*ck everybody, it’s hilarious. I’m a professional comedian so it’s not weird for me to say that I’m very funny. It’s not arrogant. People laugh so there’s a very measurable funniness.

On training as a boxer to prepare for his stand-up specials
Training as a boxer for standup… it turned out to be smart because with boxing you have to think really clearly under duress. You really have to be smart and make quick fast improvisational plans and be able to be really lucid and calm and exact, under huge pressure and punishment. Obviously stand-up is way easier than boxing …but I sparred with guys, got the sh*t beat out of me a little bit, and it was fun… I like it.

On why he prefers creative freedom to a big paycheck and people who bitch about networks
I don’t really care about money that much. This kind of work is really a bummer if you’re not enjoying it. It’s hard work, TV shows and movies and stuff, it’s not as hard as any other job, but it hurts to put stuff out that you don’t believe in; it really hurts. Even at HBO I didn’t feel totally able to do what I wanted to. But everything you do… you sign a [contract] and you know the terms. So no one has any right to complain. Anyone who says, “They f*cked my show up” well, no, you signed a contract that said they had a right to decide everything for you, so it’s your choice.

On why he chose to shoot Hilarious in Milwaukee
I don’t like austere theaters. I don’t like standup specials where the person’s showing off how cool they are and there’s a mirrored floor and a chandelier, I don’t think that’s funny.
And the people in Milwaukee, they just drink their Pabsts [Blue Ribbon] and they come down, and they’ll laugh and they’ll entertain any idea. They’re very open minded and you wouldn’t think so because we’re here [in New York City] and “we’re better than everybody” …I had been playing the inside of the country a lot so I wanted to let them represent the show.

On writing, directing and editing his own work and the cruel irony of YouTube
I always wanted to make movies since I was a kid. As I came up as a standup, any time I had any money I would throw it at making little short movies; I would put them on Youtube; they’d be seen about fifteen times each. So a video of my dog would be seen three million times in one day but these lovingly crafted 16 millimeter movies…nobody gives a sh*t and I can’t really watch them anymore either.

On friends who are also comics
Old friends, they become extremely valuable. I know a lot of comedians who have killed themselves. I know a lot of comedians who have died, who have quit the business; there’s not a lot of people left around that I even know.