Is this the worst movie line ever?
09.30.10I found this clip from 1987′s Howling III (additional trivia: the same screenwriter went on to pen “Pterodactyl Woman From Beverly Hills”) over at Buzzfeed under the heading, “this is the worst line ever written for screen.”
Here’s the exchange in question:
PRIEST: Don’t be afraid of me, my child, I want to help you.
GIRL: I don’t need any help.
PRIEST: You should not run away from home.
GIRL: I don’t like home.
PRIEST: Why child?
GIRL: Because my step father tried to rape me. And he’s a werewolf.
Um, I’m pretty sure that’s the best line ever written. And coincidentally, that kind of childhood trauma is how foot-fetish guys are created. I would argue the worst line ever written for screen is actually from Money Never Sleeps: “Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered.” It reminded me of Tina Fey’s high-powered sexecutive in her SNL parody of Lipstick Jungle: “I’m a bitch in the board room, a boar in the bedroom, and a bear on the toilet.”
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No ‘prepare your anus’ for the picture above? I’m disappointed.
I still think the “worst lines in a movie people actually saw” goes to Batman & Robin, and I don’t count the Mr. Freeze puns. Those were awesome. I still get angry looks when I belt out Arnold’s immortal line, “KILL THE HEROES! KILL THE HEROES!” but that might be because I tend to say it while pulling my shift at the abortion clinic.
Yes, “pulling my shift” means masturbating.
A girl who can escape attempted from a werewolf can in no way be helped by letting a priest sniff her underwear.
My werewolf step father used to try to rape me all the time. And the Silver Bullets only seemed to worsen the situation.
A girl who can escape attempted rape from a werewolf can in no way be helped by letting a priest sniff her underwear.
fixed
She’s cute. I would have thought that every line written for Anakin Skywalker had this in the bag.
“I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?”
DeNiro to Ben Stiller in one of those god-awful Focker movies. Werewolf rape sounds more enjoyable.
When I say werewolf rape sounds more enjoyable, I am of course talking about watching it, not personally being raped by a werewolf . . . that’s just weird.
My stepfather was a “wash and werewolf”, so he never really tried to rape me, but he was always making sure I had a warm pair of undies to put on in the morning.
My werewolf stepfather used to try to rape me all the time so I just cut my legs off.
My werewolf priest only came when there was a full moon.
(Mine.)
I enjoyed the werewolf stepfather rape. I didn’t love him, I just loved his doggy-style.
“bulls make money bears make money pigs get slaughtered” is an even lamer song from 3 years ago:
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I guess this answers the timeless question, “What could be worse than getting fucked by bears?”
Legless Chino probably makes a good swiffer. Just put her in some terrycloth sweats, make her hold a stick and push!
I’d love to actually see the worst line ever written worked into this Aussie movie. Like so:
“In America, it’s bling bling. But down under it’s bling chungadoolameroo.”
My werewolf stepfather wasn’t into rape, but he sure liked to sniff crotches!
Interestingly enough, it makes classic movie lines even better. Here, try it for yoursef:
SHOW ME THE MONEY Because my step father tried to rape me. And he’s a werewolf.
You. Complete. Me. Because my step father tried to rape me. And he’s a werewolf.
Today’s the day we celebrat OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY! Because my step father tried to rape me. And he’s a werewolf.
…it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Because my step father tried to rape me. And he’s a werewolf.
It was Kristen Wiig, holmes.
My werewolf stepfather hated it when I called him “Steve”. He’d always say, “Why not ‘Dad’ huh? Because, let me tell you, buddy, I may be a werewolf, but your ‘Dad’ that you love so much, yeah, well, he’s a W-H-E-R-E wolf. Did he even come to your soccer game? ‘Dad’ indeed. Call me by my name if you must, but let’s not pretend like he’s been a father to you. I know we’ve got our problems, but for your mother’s sake, could you try just a little? For her sake.”
Fuck you, Steve.
I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY A PACK OF STEPFATHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rapey stepfather werewolf is still less creepy than the fetus-fondling werewolf from Twilight.
My stepfather was a human but he said he had to rape me on a regular basis because he was hungry like the wolf
Great, so now just because I have ripped abs my step-kids think I am a rapist.
So this is what it takes to see a priest’s o-face these days?
I remember when I could just purse my lips and stuff some grapes in there.
The priest could also be the worst actor ever…
What’s worse, Vince, is that it is a mangling of a common Wall Street phrase that speaks to the general sense of moral decay on the Street — and tonally would have made a lot of sense in this movie I’d imagine. The saying goes, “Pigs gets fed, hogs get slaughtered.”
Wolfman’s got nards.
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Much better-
Vince, see The Room. I’m surprised it’s not mentioned more on this fine site/wretched hive of scum and villainy. Everything about it is the worst script and otherwise.
I used to get raped by my werewolf stepfather, and by werewolf stepfather I mean the harry south american guy that used to come by and bang my mom so she could drive his Camaro.
Greatest movie line ever: “You have been given the honor of sleeping with a German woman, an officer of the ⚡⚡!” -Ilsa, from Ilsa, She Wolf of the ⚡⚡
You think being a werewolf’s kid is tough. Try being The Rabid Wolverine’s.