Greg Giraldo, 1965 – 2010
09.29.10
Sad Shark hates when Sad Shark shows up too ;-(
As if hangnails and Seltzer-Friedberg movies weren’t enough proof that God is a cruel prick, Greg Giraldo died today, succumbing to the drug overdose he suffered over the weekend. The news was first broken by Jim Norton on his Twitter feed and has been since confirmed by TMZ. It’s the second by-all-accounts-an-awesome-dude death after Bob Schimmel died in a car crash a few weeks ago. If you knew him from anywhere, chances are you laughed at at least one of his awesome roast burns:
[at the Joan Rivers roast] “What a night — a couple of trolls, a fairy, and a giant, all going after a sunken-eyed little monster who’s obsessed with jewelry. It’s like the Lord of the Rings.”
“There’s so many black d*cks in here, it’s like we’re doing this roast from inside Lisa Lampanelli’s mouth.”
“Soul Plane — that was such a horrible, embarrassment to black people, Brigitte Nielson tried to f*ck it.”
“Carrot Top — how did you find a plastic surgeon who could add a chromosome?”
“Gary Busey’s here, kind of. Jesus, Gary, you horse-faced lunatic. You look like Nick Nolte f*cked a Clydesdale.”
To which Nick Nolte responded, “Huh? Yeah, I did that. To be honest, it was kind of a dud in the sack.” Seriously though, hey, God, could you stop killing all the funny, nice guys? It’s like Heaven’s selection process is the exact opposite of network TV. I’m honestly bummed about this, and I’m not lying like I usually am when I say that.
| Roast of Joan Rivers | |
| Greg Giraldo – Trolls and Fairies | |
| The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget | |
| Uncensored – Greg Giraldo | |
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“There’s so many black d*cks in here, it’s like we’re doing this roast from inside Lisa Lampanelli’s mouth.”
The Mighty Feklahr is sure that was the line that got him a chair to the face from them Klan fellers.
“Gilbert Gottfried is here. Gilbert recently had a baby. Who would fuck you? You have the sex appeal of a school bus fire.”
“Gilbert’s famously cheap. I’m surprised you’re here. When we do these things you have to buy new clothes, new shoes, but you made it. You tightened your belt and you came.
You’re like David Carradine.”
damn so I guess this means no more hostel movies huh?
He’ll finally get his own roast.
When he’s cremated.
Three-time Best Director Oscar Nominee Arthur Penn died, too. So, one for the film column, one for the drunk column, and balance is restored.
Ok, I dont usually say this, Dude, but too f*ing soon for such a good guy.
There is an upside: “Greg Giraldo + Early Death” is popping up on popular internet search lists for today. Now we only can wait and hope Dane Cook takes the bait…
There is never too soon for a dead guy. What am I going to do, offend him?
I just hope Carlos Mencia steals from him.
*seriously, RIP Greg*
Giraldo got his JD from Harvard and went on to write dick jokes for a living.
Thank God he didn’t decide to practice law instead.
In two months, when Daniel Tosh dies, people are going to mistakenly call him Daniel Giraldo. Then they’ll look up all confused and try to change the subject.
I’ll always remember Greg as the guy who handed Dennis Leary his own nutsack on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn.
This legitimately sucks.
Wow. That is a serious bummer. RIP
I believe it was Nietzsche who wrote “god is dead”. Or did he write “Clapton is god”? I can’t remember…
It sucks that Greg Giraldo died. Hopefully, Carlos Mencia will steal this idea too.
my fav was his roast of Flava Flav: a you look like a skeleton wrapped in electrical tape. YOU ARE ONE BLACK MOTHER FUCKER. You look like Idi Amin after a three year crack binge on the sun.
I can see blaming god and the universe for Schimmel dying, but come on…he overdosed. It’s not like God struck him with cancer lightning. It was his fault.
Rright now he’s asking St. Joseph if he can bang his wife too
Maybe the really bad comedians will start killing themselves too. (*looks at Margaret Cho, crosses fingers*)
No, DaDude, you probably won’t offend him, but you should at least make up your own jokes instead of cribbing Gilbert Gottfried’s Twitter.
This latest atrocity only goes to show us that Earth is living hell.
I like to think that Greg would see the humor in him being cock slapped off the front page by the passing of one of the all time great poon hounds Tony Curtis.
Honestly, I would rather have anyone he roasted dead. Jeff Foxworthy was only alive for Giraldo to make fun of.
Hakuna-Matata Mothafucka from the Mothafuckin’ Lion King.