JonnyDepp-Redcarpet

Forbes just released their list of Hollywood’s top 10 money-earning actors from June 2009 through June 2010, and while I don’t find these stats particularly interesting, I know our monkey brains leave us incapable of not clicking on top 10 lists and I ain’t allergic to cash money so here we are.  The figures reportedly include front-end paychecks, back-end deals (the kind your mom likes), and endorsements, such as Al Pacino’s gravitastic coffee ad, or Channing Tatum’s signature line of imitation-gold wigger chains (“Holla back, cousin, ya boy C-Tates’ chizzies look money, belee dat.”). Probably the biggest disappointment is not seeing John C. Reilly’s name on the list.  I’d let that man perform my open-heart surgery.

  1. Johnny Depp, $75 million
  2. Ben Stiller, $53 million
  3. Tom Hanks, $45 million
  4. Adam Sandler, $40 million
  5. Leonardo DiCaprio, $28 million
  6. Daniel Radcliffe, $25 million
  7. Robert Downey Jr., $22 million
  8. Tom Cruise, $22 million
  9. Brad Pitt, $20 million
  10. George Clooney, $19 million

Adam Sandler farts thousand-dollar bills (“Literally!” -Pete Hammond) so it’s a little surprising to see him below Ben Stiller on the list.  Forbes reports that Stiller’s figure includes a producer credit on Dreamworks’ Megamind as well as a hefty up-front fee for Little Fockers. And he deserves every penny of that. That thing looks Brian-Pumper-putting-farts-in-your-monkey-fufu level embarrassing.  But all in all, save for maybe Daniel “The Awkwardest Wizard” Radcliffe, it seems like a pretty meritorious list, as far as people earning more than small countries for standing around looking pretty goes.  At least there aren’t any Twilight people on it. Meanwhile, upon hearing the news that the highest-paid actor earned a paltry $75 million, James Cameron bought a solid gold helmet for his Komodo dragon and made his midget jesters trade pants.