Sean Penn recently took time out of his busy schedule of saving Haitian orphans using the healing power of scowls to sit down with Zach Galifianakis on Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis. Or rather, sit down with Zach Galifianakis’ twin brother, Seth. I don’t want to ruin it by telling you what happens, but I really enjoy this as a non-sequitir:
“Funions needs to be in the movie, he’s got a captain’s hat on him!”
I’m going to be shouting that at strangers all week. Sidenote: is there a more white name than ‘Seth’? Preston? Mort? Discuss. Hey, which one of these do you think looks more like Funions?

“What? No, mom, how many times do I have to tell you: I am a serious writer! Quit riding me, I’ll be up for dinner in a minute.”



Sidenote: is there a more white name than ‘Seth’? Preston? Mort? Discuss.
Ashley?
If you are trying to conflate ‘Jew” with ‘White’ then yes, Seth FTW.
Sammy Davis takes umberage though.
HA! Burn!
Fuck you.
Sean Penn’s nascent sense of humor doesn’t get it, but his superiority complex told him this was high comedy.
It’s true though, you’ll never meet a black dude named Ashley… maybe Ashy…
What? No, mom, how many times do I have to tell you: I am a serious writer! Quit riding me, I’ll be up for dinner in a minute.
Oedipus had big thumbs too.
namedcalledfuck.
Shoved in his eye sockets.
Matthias.
My hairstylist Julian is offended by this post.
That’s pronounced “My thigh hurts”.
It’s long, but funny, like manatee cock:
[www.youtube.com]
Well, since somebody already brought out Ashley, I’m going with other white girls’ names. Dakota and Mackenzie are both whiter than Seth.
Fuck it. I admit “Morton Salt” is pretty fucking white. That being said, “Adolf” probably has a 1000-year lock on this competition.
It’s interesting that Dakota is such a white girl’s name, since Montana is a black girl’s name. Of course, Laurence Fishburne probably would have been better served to have named her Idaho.
I know a white girl named Montana. Sorry there isn’t a joke to go with this information.
I knew a Mountanna, bitch was a total tube.
Wow, Zach’s lovability actually kind of cancels out Sean Penn’s asshole vibes.
And Funions is an adorable name for a Boston Terrier.
What a humorless asshole. I get tired of hearing about HIM real fast.
Hamilton and Sebastian are both pretty white names. So is Powder, but I’ve never met one in real life.
It’s true though, you’ll never meet a black dude named Ashley
Counterpoint: the dipshit who cheated on my precious Cheryl Cole.
[www.chelseafc.com],,10268~5476,00.html
White guy names? Jared, Justin, Jake, Trevor, Travis, Laird, Dean, Doug, Phil, Brett, Austin, Aaron, Roger, Niles, Nigel, Neil, Basil, Wade, Wesley, etc…
And to expand on Mort’s point, most negroes aren’t going to give their kid a German name, no matter whether it’s Adolf, Heinrich, Hermann, Gustav, or Hans… or Baldur von Schirach, for that matter.
But I already told ya, boy! Yoah name is Toby!
And Bill.
Would’ve been funnier if Seth had tasered Penn to the point of Penn pissing himself.
White names, eh?
I had roommates in colleges who were named Hunter and Chad. That’s pretty fucking white. The guy across the hall was named Travis.
Also, let’s be fair, Sean is a really damn white name…