(Rihanna prepares for another game of ‘Smell the Glove’)
I was browsing my favorite internet website RihannaDaily this morning when I came across these first pictures of Rihanna on the set of Peter Berg’s Battleship. Casting Rihanna as a Navy seawoman in a board-game-based movie about a naval battle with aliens seemed like a weird choice (as did moving forward with this whole board-game idea in the first place), but now that I’ve seen the pictures, she definitely looks the part. Her transformation is breathtaking, really. You’d never guess she was actually a famous pop star and not no-nonsense sailor lady. I mean, the camouflage, the forearm tattoos… incredible.
“Okay, team, so what do we know about sailors?”
“Hmm, they swear a lot?”
“Good, but…”
“Oooh, I know– they have tattoos of anchors on their forearms.”
“Yes! That’s good…”
“And they’re always eating spinach and getting into fights!”
“Right!”
“I was thinking… could she also smoke a corn cob pip?”
“That’s great stuff, Trent, really great. Nice work, gang. Should we call out for sushi?”
RELATED ASYLUM POLL: What board game would make the best movie?
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I think Rihanna really knows how to command
semenseamen.Chris Brown was right, black and blue looks great on her.
I’d hit it.
“F7.”
“You sunk my eye socket!”
Pranksters in the costume department keep switching her name patch for one that says ‘HOES’.
Hilarity ensues when she is instructed to “swab the deck” by the grizzled old seadog captain, and she proceeds to kick the bucket over, strip naked, run and “slip and slide” all over the deck, Brillo-ing the fuck out of the sumbitch!
The captain is so impressed he takes her back afty to give her a glass bottom boat tour. “Load the torpedo bay, Lieutenant Junior Grade Chippy-Tooth!” *skeet skeet skeet*
“This movie literally hits you in the face repeatedly with action!” — Pete Hammond
This movie looks like it was put together as well as Peter Berg’s teeth.
Man the whorepedoes.
The battle climaxes when all the ships stack on top of each other foiling the plans of the alien invaders.
That vessel better have auto-tune.
Chris Brown thinks her name patch should read “Flinches”.
This movie’s gonna take a beating at the box office.
That background dude in the sunglasses is doing a Horatio Caine.
Looks like she needs….a punch in the face.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH……
She’s Blackeye the Sailor Woman…toot! toot!
No amount of Valtrax can help Rihanna with this case of HURpes.
Images courtesy Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.
Boy I’ll tell ya, she can stand under my umbrella anytime, BWAHAHAHAHA.
Slow and go on the 101. Mattress in lanes.
That smug look makes me want to… *reads previous funnier domestic violence comments* never mind.
Rihanna’s only “Popeye” after she gets up in her man’s bidness.
Boy I’ll tell ya, I’d sure like to swab her poop deck, BWAHAHAHA.
Watch out for break lights.
I haven’t seen a chick look that beat up in a navy uniform since Cher made that music video.
That be impossible! Tha alien is be callin from inside tha bildin!!!!
Sailor Raikes: “OK, so what DO you tell a woman with two black eyes”
Alien Invader: “NOTHING, HAHA, SHE’S ALREADY BEEN TOLD TWICE!!AHAHAHA”
Sailor Raikes: :/
what can i say that hasnt already been said?
I saw the thumbnail and honestly thought that was a picture of Justin Beiber.
Hey, solidius; just do what I do. Pull your scrote out your fly, act natural, and try to blend in with the rest of the crowd.
“corn cob pip” is my favourite Dickens character. Love that Great Eggspectations.
Shouldn’t she be wearing an eyepatch?